King has gone "High-Tech"!!!

As I mentioned earlier this week, I went to Qualipet to buy some pet supplies. Among the things I bought was a "Kitty High-Tech Mouse" for King made by a German company called Karlie. One of things I really enjoy about buying things in Europe is that the back of the package usually has instructions/information translated into several languages. Now, mind you, this is not really a "high-tech" piece of equipment as the manufacturer implies. All it really is is a small fishing rod with a catnip stuffed mouse at the end of the line that squeeks when you bounce it off the floor. However, this fact has not deterred the good people at Karlie from feeling the need to list the highlights of their product in seven languages - German, English, French, Dutch, Spanish, Italian, and Russian. Here is the English translation which I found rather amusing:

Here comes the high-tech mouse!
Sensational:
-Just the slightest contact and the cat hears the "real sound of mice" - an integrated chip makes this possible and the cat cannot tell the difference between this sound and the "original" sound of mice.
-With new safety mouse, which means to say with soft felt eyes, ears and tail, no sharp corners [Oh,oh...do I sense a previous manufacturing flaw? Perhaps the eyes, ears, and tail were previously made of...glass and barbed wire?]
-With the scent of catnip (cat mint)
-Active toy to promote instinct and concentration. [I must point out that it did pretty much drive King into a frenzy. So, instinct yes. Concentration? Let's not push it.]
-Many exciting hours [huh?] of play between animal and people.
-Immediately ready to use [Liars!!! There was some assembly required!]
-Do not leave the animal to play on its own. Do not eat. [Is this last comment directed toward the "animal" or the "people"?]