Monday, August 08, 2005

Vous avez choisi?


Upon arriving home from the gym this afternoon, I found that our cat King had left me a nice present of cat vomit. Since he's been working up a hairball for the past twenty four hours ago, it wasn't too big of a surprise. However, what did concern me is that I found little traces of blood in the vomit (...still enjoying reading my blog?). So, being the good "cat dad" that I am, I wiped up the blood-stained slime onto a white paper towel, shoved the paper towel into a Ziploc bag, and headed toward Dr. Buser's office in Reinach.
I felt very "C.S.I.-ish" as I pulled out the Ziploc for Dr. Buser (it's pronounced Boozer...which still kills me after nearly five years!) to examine.
Dr. Buser: "Uzzer zan zee womiting, is he akting nomahly?"

TBF: "Yup - sleeping, eating but not being able to hold it down, and using the litter box. Pretty much the normal life of a cat. Wouldn't you say? Hehehe..." [chuckling]

Dr. Buser: [no laughter whatsoever] "Zen I vood haf to say zat you shood not feed heem for tventy-foh owahs and also gif heem dis herbal laxative."

TBF: "I'm not sure if he'll eat it. He didn't like zee [TBF suddenly developing a German accent] schtuff I bought him at Qualipet."

Dr. Buser: "Don't vorry. Dis is herbal, and he shood like it. Also...it is very impohtant zat you don't force heem to eat it. If he eats it by his own choice, zen he vill eat it for-efer. If you force heem to eat it, zen he vill nefer eat it again!"

TBF: [suddenly having flashbacks of prying open King's jaws and trying to shove laxative down his throat]. I'll take it!

After paying a CHF 363.65 vet bill for King's medicines, blood tests, etc. (they just bill you every couple of months in Switzerland), I said my goodbyes to Dr. and Frau Buser (she's his assistant), and hopped into the Jeep to head home.
I have to say that curiosity got the best of me, and I opened the tube of laxative. I gave it a sniff, and then (I'm a bit ashamed to admit it) TASTED IT! It wasn't disgusting, but it wasn't good either. It kind of tasted like cardboard with just a hint of a toffee flavor.
On the box, they had the description in French, German, and Italian (as you do in Switzerland). I'd just like to point out that in French it is called: Pâte Orale Pour Chats; in German it's: Haarballen-Entferner Für Katzen; and in Italian it's called Pasta Per Gatti Per Uso Orale.

Vous avez choisi? I'm going with the pâte there Pierre. I'd maybe go for the pasta, but I just had some last night. And there's no way in Hell I'm eating something called Entferner. It's just not gonna happen.

As it turned out, I didn't even have to coax King into eating the schtuff....er...stuff. He just sat next to me on the sofa, I squeezed a little out (...suddenly having an odd desire to try it again), and King licked it right from the tube.
I'd say that qualifies as me not forcing him to eat it. As a matter of fact, he just walked up to me and started rubbing against my leg.

...mochtest tu ein bischen Entferner?

5 comments:

Kirk said...

OK, just so I understand this correctly, you really ate cat laxative? By CHOICE?

(((Visions of TBF and King sitting on the couch taking alternating hits off the laxative tube...)))

Kirk said...

Oh, and on the subject of giving pills to cats, have you seen this?

How to give a cat a pill

cncz said...

i used to have two persians, now one is in new orleans (other dearly departed, sniff sob sniff) and those suckers were so freakin hairy we had furballs about every other day.
the one who is still around thinks that if he hides his furballs, we won't notice. i actually watched him spend fifteen minutes dragging a plastic bag (he was declawed) to cover his furball.

the only good thing about repeat furball offenders is that their offerings are less slimy and more compact.

Gill said...

I know you are a bit of a gourmet but cat laxative as an apero!!. Hope you didn't take too big a dose.

Michael said...

I hope the cat is feeling better...you should have tried the stuff with some crackers!