Friday, December 15, 2006

Friday Flashback: Merry !&#^@%#&$! Christmas!

I used to hate the Christmas season.

I hated everything about it; fighting the crowds while Christmas shopping, writing Christmas cards, putting up the Christmas lights, wrapping gifts, cutting down a Christmas tree...

CUTTING DOWN A CHRISTMAS TREE!!!! God, I used to hate that!

When Mrs. TBF and I were first married, we used to go to a tree-lot, like most people, and just pick out a pre-cut tree. Then, we became "yuppies" and decided that "we" could do better than the local tree-lot. The Christmas experience needed to be complicated. Yes - we now needed a tree from a tree "farm" in Wisconsin.

God, I hated that!

I'm not going to name any names, but...a certain person in our house would suddenly appear in the doorway on a weekend morning with a large bow saw and say it was "...time to go!" "Wha'?," I'd say. "Go where?" "Let's just take a ride," she'd say. "Gotta full tank of gas?" "Ummm...yup," was my response as I would be robotically putting on my coat.

About one hour later, I would wake up out of my trance, and the car would be parked in a muddy lot somewhere in southeast Wisconsin. Off we'd go, into the "woods" to pick out the "perfect" tree; it would take (what seemed like) hours.

Onward we'd trudge. One tree would be too big. The next one would be too spindley. The one after that would be...oh...just "wrong."

I'd curse the Christmas season under my breath. 'Next year will be different,' I'd think. 'I'll convert to Judaism...Islam...Kwanzaa! That's it! It'll work...it has to work!'

It...didn't work!

We just kept going back to those lots. Usually, it would be the same lot for a couple of years in a row. Then, there would be word about a "special lot" somewhere in "bumble fark" Wisconsin...just over the border (1 hour!)...not too far from home. Like in this circa 1995 picture - me with my forced smile, hauling the tree back to the car in "Where God lost his Shoes, Wisconsin."

Thank God for Wyss Nursery down the street from us here in Binningen. I got the tree while Mrs. TBF was at work.

I didn't even need my bow saw.

6 comments:

Colon Blow said...

That's good, because I have your bow saw!

The Big Finn said...

cb - I was wondering who had that thing. Actually, I can't even remember who gave it to me - my dad?

Anonymous said...

I seem to recall your annual tree chopping event. And all that time I thought you like it....

Expat Traveler said...

LOL - great story. Really why do you get a tree when you leave for christmas anyhow? Ok - that's just my thinking since we are only a newly married couple and have zip for christmas garb.

The Big Finn said...

tms - You thought wrong...

et - We're only gone for five nights during the Christmas season, and we still like to decorate the apartment. Plus, we have a zillion ornaments and need something on which to put them.

Gretchen said...

Isn't Wisconsin just the BEST?! I know you agree with me... Brett Favre and all...