Monday, August 25, 2008

My Progeny...

Mrs. TBF and I decided a LONG time ago that we didn't want to have children. When we first got married, we thought we'd eventually start a family. But we decided to wait three years. Before we knew it, our third wedding anniversary was upon us. We talked about it, but we decided we weren't ready and that we'd wait a couple more years.

Fifth anniversary? Nope...still not ready.

Seventh anniversary? Nope...too busy raising three cats and a dog.

When we were in Hawai'i in 1997 celebrating our tenth anniversary we talked about the whole "starting a family thing" and we decided then and there that neither one of us really wanted to be a parent...ever! Of course, it wasn't until last year that I took the "final step" to ensure that I would never father a child.

OK...too much info.

Although I'm 100% happy with the decision to not become a father, there is that teeny-weeny voice in the back of my head that wonders what our children would have looked like. Today, while reading some blogs, I came across a website that allows one to upload two pictures to see what their children would look like. The site is:

www.makemebabies.com

According to the website, our son would have looked like this. I have to admit that I was a bit alarmed to find that we would have produced a son with a lopsided face. But I have to admit that the hair color is pretty close to the color of my hair when I was growing up.

Our daughter would have looked like this. She actually would have been kind of cute. After seeing these two pictures, I definitely would have preferred a cute girl to a son with a freakishly lopsided face.

Of course, curiosity got the best of me and...


Here would be the result of the immaculate conception (ABSOLUTELY NO MATING WOULD BE INVOLVED) between...me and King. It's strange that I never noticed, but apparently King is black. Who knew?

Had my man-seed somehow fertilized a Scotch egg...THIS would have been the rather unfortunate offspring.

And last but not least...

Had I somehow managed to clone myself, the result would have been...

...a child who looks absolutely nothing like me whatsoever!

Although...I do like to swim!

11 comments:

Leesa said...

Both Alex and I found the last three pics HILARY ASS!!!
Also, I didn't know your cat was black.... Also, all of your offspring have freakishly feminine lips-- esp, the one with you and the oeuf!! Very odd, indeed...

Expat Traveler said...

Haha - that was pretty funny!

Diane Mandy said...

Very funny, FInn. Scary as it sounds, your third virtually baby looks an awful lot like the one I posted a couple days ago. You didn't virtually kidnap my baby, did you. ;-)

Jul said...

Let's all be happy you never decided to mate with a Scotch egg in real life. Well done.

Mrs. TBF said...

Ok - I'm scared. I guess I need to get on the next flight home and make sure King's ok and the eggs are in the fridge where they belong!
Actually, I'm a little irritated that the offspring from you and I are more like you than me...proving that 51% Finnish thing you and your dad are always claiming about "mixed" Finns.
Miss you.

Michael said...

TBF - Oh My Freakin' God - that was hilarious....

I understand what you mean though, I've never had that desire to have children myself. I've always said that if someone is going to be calling me Daddy it is NOT going to be a 2 year old, that's for sure!

Fat Sal said...

Well...I suppose it would be Ok, just so long as the Scotch Egg agrees to raise your child Catholic.

Anonymous said...

what's up with the giant ducky that is swallowing your faux-daughter? yikes! Liz

tinakala said...

Hahahaa. But the daughter kinda looks cute.

The DP said...

I was going to comment but I drew then line at commenting from work, and after reading that post, remind me not to read your blog at work, King is black! I snarfed my coffee EVERYWHERE.
God punishing me for wasting valuable work internet resource.

Di said...

Timi - Oh Oh - My God - I am crying I am laughing so hard...Sam keeps asking me what's wrong and I can't even speak bcause I am laughing so hard....the child with King....I just can't get it out of my head - in any way - and King's unknown descent until now...I will have the laughies for ever.;) Di