Thursday, September 06, 2007

I'm A Loser, Baby!

I always walk Mrs. TBF to the tram or the bus in the morning. If we walk to the tram early enough, we always see people standing outside the Migros waiting to get in when it opens at 8:00 a.m. Usually, I'll make some comment to Mrs. TBF that these people should "get a life" or that they're "losers" because they have nothing better to do than to wait for a grocery store to open. I mean, what could be so stinkin' important that you have to actually wait for the doors to open at precisely 8:00?

OK...maybe you're out of toilet paper. I'll give ya that one...

So, this morning we were walking to the tram at about 7:50, and I saw the "losers" standing at the Migros door. Realizing that I had planned to buy a few things at "the Meeg" on the way back to the apartment, I kind of hoped that Mrs. TBF's tram would take its own sweet time arriving at our stop so that...perish the thought...I'd end up standing with the "losers". As luck would have it, the tram came after a couple of minutes wait. I kissed Mrs. TBF goodbye, wiped her lipstick off my lips (as I do every morning), and walked at a snail's pace toward the Migros.

Despite the fact that had I walked any slower I would have been walking backwards, I still ended up making it to the Migros at 7:58 a.m. Two minutes later, at the precise moment that the local church bells began ringing, the Star Trek-like doors opened with a "phssssht", and I found myself in the middle of the "loser herd" being whisked through the door.

I recycled my PET containers, bought some mushrooms/tomatoes/Pepsi Light/kitty litter, and proceeded to the checkout. By the time I got there, there was not one other shopper in sight! I looked back around the store, and I couldn't see even one shopper...NOT EVEN ONE! Obviously, these people all came in for one thing, bought it, and left. "God, what losers!", I thought to myself...

Hey! Wait a minute...

5 comments:

Jul said...

I'd suspect they were all drunks, but Migros doesn't sell alcohol...

At least in Japan when you arrive at a store for its opening, you get some hard-core bowing action as your reward. I suspect the Migros employees didn't do that.

The Big Finn said...

Jul - My first thought was that they were there to buy cigarettes, but I don't think Migros sells cigarettes either. And you're correct - no bowing!

Jul said...

Does your Migros have a bakery? I bet they were feeding their morning gipfli addictions.

Expat Traveler said...

LOL - this is just too funny...

The Big Finn said...

Jul - Yes, it must be the bakery. Also, I went back to "the Meeg" yesterday afternoon and I noticed that the "kiosk" that's located in the front (but not officially a part of Migros since Migros doesn't sell cigarettes) sells cigarettes.
Aaaahhhhh, nothing like a Gipfeli and a cigarette first thing in the morning to clog up those arteries!