Two Weeks Ago...

...we were in Paris. I left for Chicago a couple of days after returning from Paris, so I just didn't make time to blog about it. And now, it's old news, so let me just say a couple of things.

Dear tourists: The proper pronunciation of this Metro stop is George sank and not George vee. Please make a mental note in order to avoid any further embarrassment.

Also...

This, a copy of the Statue of Liberty's torch, is a monument to French-American friendship. Yes, it is directly above the tunnel where Princess Di was killed, but it is NOT the Princess Di monument. It doesn't bother me if you continue to leave cards or flowers.

OK...

...got THAT off my chest!

Ready And Waiting...

My rental car has been returned, the bags are packed, and I'm all set to go. Mrs. TBF is well into her flight from Singapore to Zürich: she'll be back home at some point on Friday before me. I'll be leaving for the airport in about 2.5 hours for the 7:55 p.m. flight from Chicago to London.

It's been a good trip (as evidenced by my lack of blogging). I spent a lot of time with friends and family, ate a lot (too much) good food, and enjoyed really nice Indian summer weather for most of my stay. Oh...and NOTE TO SELF: pizza and Halloween candy is not an effective diet for keeping off weight.

Yesterday, I picked up some dry cleaning (GOD BLESS American dry cleaning!!!), and the dry cleaner asked me if I wished that I was staying a little longer. My reply?

"Yeah...like about 50 YEARS LONGER!!!"

Of course, I'm looking forward to seeing Mrs. TBF after being apart for eight days, and I'm even looking forward to seeing the beast that is King*. However...it's getting harder to leave Chicago each time I come back for a visit.

I've GOT to keep a positive attitude about Switzerland.

Clean and safe! CLEAN AND SAFE!!!!


*We're coming, King!!!

So Far In Chicago...

...I have:

smelled TWO skunks!

eaten corned beef hash and Fritos (not together)!

had a minor dispute with a cashier (I won!)!

seen a friend I haven't seen for over a year!

watched a grade school Halloween parade!

I hope the excitement doesn't escalate: I don't think I could handle it!

I'm enjoying beautiful, warm, and sunny weather here in Chicago. I just wish I had brought along some shorts.

Happy Halloween!!!

Lounge Rat...

Here I sit in the midst of (yellowing) palm trees in the Swiss Lounge at Basel's EuroAirport. I don't really have anything special to blog about, but since the lounge has free internet access I thought that I should at least use it for a few minutes.

I mean, SOMETHING FREE IN SWITZERLAND!!!! What's going on here???? Can't pass that up!

In about thirty minutes, it will be...ONWARD, HO!*



*If Mrs. TBF were here, she'd tell me to quit calling her a "ho". I hate traveling without her. Sad...

A Quickie..

I'm in a hurry...

We had a great time in Paris, and now I'm getting ready to leave for Chicago. While I'm in Chicago, Mrs. TBF will head to Singapore on business. That means that we'll be pretty much half-way around the world from each other...which is sad.

I'll blog about Paris (and Chicago) after I cross over the Big Pond.

I'm counting on you, King, to hold down the fort while we're gone.

NO PARTIES!!!!

A Rude Awakening!

I woke up this morning to what sounded like a 747 about to land in our bedroom - according to Mrs. TBF's alarm clock, it was 5:22 a.m.

One question: Why would an alarm clock manufacturer make the numbers so dim that it's nearly impossible to see them even in a dark room? Just wondering...

Anyway, getting back to the plane...

I thought that planes weren't allowed to land at Basel's EuroAirport between midnight and 6 a.m. But I guess I was wrong. A quick look at the EuroAirport Daily Flight Plan - Arrivals webpage (OK...geeky to some, but of great interest to others...like us), informed me - much to my surprise - that a number of (mostly) cargo planes land regularly between 5 & 6 a.m. And, it looks like the culprit was a FEDEX cargo plane (FX5083) arriving from Paris with a landing time of 5:27 a.m.

NERD ALERT!

I have to say that I've never been woken up before by a plane landing at EuroAirport this early in the morning. What I'm wondering: is this something new? How could I possibly have never heard these early flights before? The noise was so loud that Mrs. TBF had to get up and close our bedroom window. Seriously, this plane flew only a few thousand feet right over our apartment!

I guess Mrs. TBF is going to have to begin getting up right before 5 a.m. every morning from now on in order to close the window. I mean, I'd do it, but the window's on her side of the bed. So, it...

...officially counts as her responsibility.

Crap!

Two people (no wonder things are so expensive here!) showed up at 3 p.m. this afternoon to replace our washing machine. It's now 3:30, and they're already gone.

So how's the new machine, you ask?

It's...um...NOT the new machine.

It turns out that there has been some sort of snafu (I just LOVE that word!). The company ordered the wrong size machine, and the new one wouldn't fit into the spot where the old one was. Since the washer and dryer are stacked on top of each other, the washing machine has to be exactly the right size.

Scheisse!

The repair "couple" put the old machine back in place, so at least "we" (read: "I") can still wash clothes until the new machine comes. I'll tell ya, being without a washing machine here would REALLY suck!

When I asked the repairlady how long it would be until we get the new machine, she told me that they could probably get the replacement for us by the end of the week. We're leaving for Paris on Friday morning, so this week is probably out. If they can't get it for Monday or Tuesday, then Mrs. TBF is going to have to deal with it on her own (yikes!) because I'm leaving for Chicago next Wednesday.

Bummer!

About the washing machine, that is - not about Paris or Chicago.

Another Step Closer To The Urn...

...or is it farther?

I brought King in for his annual check-up this past Wednesday. All in all, this trip to Dr. Boozer's office was rather uneventful; unlike last year when he dropped a bomb in his crate just before returning home.

Dr. Boozer gave King a blood test, and I called yesterday morning for the results and...

...EVERYTHING IS COMPLETELY NORMAL!

Sheesh! I mean, I'm not hoping that King dies a horrible death or anything, but...

HOW LONG CAN THIS BEAST GO ON??? HE'S NEARLY 20.5 YEARS OLD!!!

OK...I guess I fudged that a bit. He does continue to have his thyroid issue...so at least there's hope for his demise at some point in the next decade (Did I say that out loud?), but Dr. Boozer had to send some blood to a lab for that test so I didn't get the results until today. And...the verdict?

I need to up his thyroid medicine...or maybe I won't...Mwaaaaah-ha-haaaaa (STOP THAT!)!

Great! Not only is the beast going to live forever, but...he's going to begin costing us even MORE money than he does now. I had just calculated that he costs us CHF 135 (about $115) per month just for food, medicine, and kitty litter. If you add in the visits to the vet...jeez...I don't even want to think about it. Doesn't he know that there's an economic crisis goin' on, for Chris'sake?

That crisis thing's still going on, right?

Es riecht wie Zwiebeln!

Our washing machine is on its last leg. A repairman came out last Friday to take a look.

Repairman: What seems to be the problem.

TBF: When I use the gentle cycle, the clothes seem to be coming out partially wet and partially dry. I don't think enough water is going into the machine. Sometimes, after the cycle is done, the door won't open without me pressing a bunch of different buttons. And finally...the machine smells like onions.*

Repairman: What?

TBF: The machine smells like onions.

Repairman: (sticking his head into the machine) You're right! It does smell like onions.

TBF: We don't really eat that many onions, so I'm not really sure where that smell is coming from.

The long and short of it was that the repairman called the building management and advised that our 13 year old washing machine would cost CHF 600 ($525) to repair, and a new one would cost about CHF 2000 ($1750). After he got off the phone, he told me that the owner would have to decide between repair and replacement.

This afternoon, I received a call from the repairman. Our new washing machine will be installed next Tuesday afternoon. Man, I LOVE it when things go the way I want them to go!!

One problem is solved (Thank GAWD!!!) But now I have another problem:

How am I going to get rid of this craving for French onion soup?

* Since the repairman spoke absolutely zero English, I had to speak in German. For the reader's benefit, I wrote down in English what I THINK I was saying in German. Just transpose some of the words, completely leave out others, and throw in a dash of gibberish (while gesturing like a mad man), and you'll have a more accurate idea of what I was actually saying to the repairman.

Gone But Not Forgotten...

I did something different this year, and I think it's going to work out well.

We have some really big potted plants in our rooftop garden that have to come in for the winter. Namely: the bougainvillea (just ignore the Green Bay Packers fan in the foreground), the bottlebrush plant, and a rather large hibiscus. Over the past couple of years, I've brought these plants into the apartment where they've proceeded to drop a bunch of their leaves for the sole purpose that King can bat them around all night causing me great annoyance.

The plants survive the winter OK in the apartment, but they pretty much look like they're barely clinging on to life when I return them to the rooftop in the spring. Yeah, they bounce back. But, for example, the bougainvillea doesn't begin blooming until about July 1st. The bottlebrush plant, which normally blooms at the end of May, began blooming in September this year.

I'm a greedy gardener - I want to maximize bloom-time.

So...

This year, thanks to our friend Dr. (pharmacology) Rammy, our plants will bask the whole winter in summer-like warmth in a greenhouse. She arranged for her gardening service to come pick up our plants this week, and they were whisked away at 8:00 a.m. this past Wednesday morning.

As my babies sped away down the road in the Alabor trailer, I felt a twinge of sadness...and happiness.

For how many more summers will I enjoy their blooms?

Mixed emotions...

Update later: I just noticed that on the first glance of this post that it appears as if I am eulogizing Dr. (entomology) John. Let it be known: DR. JOHN IS NOT DEAD!!! Although, he is a Green Bay Packers fan. And that, in my opinion, officially qualifies him as disabled.

Friday Flashback: 時間は行進する!

I can't believe it's been a year since we got on the plane, turned left (thanks to Mrs. TBF's BA gold upgrade coupons), and raised our glasses in celebration of our 20th anniversary trip to Japan.

Wow!

One year, people!

ONE YEAR!!!!!!!!

Last night, I mentioned to Mrs. TBF that it had been just over a month since we were in Amalfi. And...it felt like FOREVER ago.

Isn't it strange how sometimes things that are recent seem like they happened ages ago, and things that happened a long time ago feel like they just happened?

I mean, it feels like just yesterday that I was running around with a full head of hair and six-pack abs without a care in the world.

Oh yeah...that was last night...

...IN MY DREAMS!!!

Speaking of dreams...

Hey, Mrs. TBF: How's that Japanese schoolgirl uniform coming along?

I Didn't Even Notice!

Has it really been over a year since we sold the Jeep?

Why...yes it has!

Have I missed it?

No!

Have there been times where I wished I had a car?

No! OK...maybe once or twice.

The Mobility car-sharing program has worked really well for me, and I don't regret getting rid of our car at all. In fact, I've only really used Mobility cars about ten times over the past year, so that's not even once per month. And...some of those times were when I didn't really even need a car, but I just felt like driving around in order to cram a bunch of errands into one day.

Yes...the tram, bus, taxis, and the occasional rides from friends have served us well.

Hmmm...

That was easy!

Who would'a thunk it?

Got A Package, People!

SCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's how I describe our door buzzer, AND that's what I heard yesterday afternoon. Hmmm...that's funny. I wasn't expecting anybody. Then, I walked over to the intercom:

TBF: Hello?

Mystery Swiss Caller: Squoli squonk...squonk...squonk...squoli...squonk-squonk!!!

TBF: Wie bitte?

MSC: Paket!

Got a package, people!!!!!

Hmmm...that's funny. I wasn't expecting a package. Could it possibly be all the wine I ordered from last weekend's Weinmesse? Already?

When I got down to our lobby, I saw two delivery men standing with a pretty big box. It was then that I realized that I was about to get some head!

Actually...two heads...AND a big plate!

Seeing how busy I've been over the past month doing...well...pretty much nothing, is it any wonder that I'd forgotten that we bought some Italian ceramics while we were in Amalfi last month? Actually, I seem to recall that I remembered the ceramics for a split second last week, and then my one second attention span moved on to more unimportant things, and then I just forgot about them again...until yesterday.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah...

I unpacked the box and found that Mrs. TBF's "people" had used an interesting combination of styrofoam "popcorn", styrofoam sheets, and empty plastic water bottles as packaging material. Then, each ceramic piece was wrapped in foam rubber and two layers of bubble wrap. I'll be recycling/throwing out packaging material for the next week, but I'm happy to report that all three pieces are intact and the new heads will soon be joining the existing heads on our "head wall".

The plate? I have NO idea where we're going to keep that thing seeing that it's too big to fit into any of our cabinets. Mrs. TBF wants me to hang the plate on the wall. I, being the sole operator of the hammer-drill, have vetoed that idea, so I'm just going to have to buckle-down and find a place for it...somewhere. I guess that means I'll be doing a lot of walking into a room and then wondering why I actually walked into that room over the next few days.

I like that game, and I have to say that I've become pretty good at it over the past eight years. Practice makes perfect.

Colour My World...

Man, we've had some nice fall color here this year. In fact, Mrs. TBF and I think that Fall 2008 has been the most colorful one we've had since moving to Switzerland.

How's the fall color where you live?

Gotta Love Them Pets!

Ahhhh....

There's nothing like waking up at 1:45 a.m. to the sound of your cat coughing up a gigantic hairball.

Not so bad?

OK....

There's nothing like waking up at 1:45 a.m. to the sound of your cat coughing up a gigantic hairball, while standing on top of the duvet, between your legs, and then splattering cat spit, fur, and chunks of cat food all over said duvet and onto the floor.

Forcing myself out of bed this morning at 1:46 a.m., I wiped up what I could, surveyed the rest of the vomit-spray, cursed King and decided that there was NO WAY I was spending the rest of the night in that bed. I told Mrs. TBF that I was going to sleep in the guest room.

About one minute after getting under the duvet in the guest room - yup, you guessed it! - King decided that he'd like to reclaim his spot on top of the new duvet between my legs. I told him to get the Hell out, and...he did; not to be seen for the rest of the night! Mrs. TBF slid into bed next to me a few minutes later, after opening the window, because "...the guest room smells like eggs!" (sorry about that!), and we spent the rest of the night sleeping in our guest bed. Or, should I say...NOT sleeping?

First, it took both of us about an hour to fall back to sleep. Then, I woke up at some point (4 a.m.?) and saw Mrs. TBF hopping around the room with a cramp in her leg. At 7 a.m., the bells, loud and clear because of the open window, were clanging away at the local church.

Why do the church bells clang at 7 a.m.? Why?...why?...WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY???

I got up and made us both some coffee, and brought a cup into the bathroom for Mrs. TBF just in time to hear her telling King:

"You just came one step closer...to the urn, MISTER!"

He didn't seem to care one way or another.

Out With The Old...

...and in with the new!

Here she is...Miss Switzerland 2008: Whitney Toyloy (great name!)!

While last year's winner showed a lot of promise by being "up for it", she definitely pales by comparison to Miss Boy-Toyloy!

One question:

Does Miss America pose for photos for a lingerie collection a week after being crowned?

Ummmm...didn't think so!

I've Got The Blues!

No, not those kind of blues. I guess it would be more accurate to say that I'm SEEING blue, and I wish it would end. You see, the Blue Man Group is coming to Basel at the end of October for a 2.5 month stay, and...I CAN'T WAIT!!!

No, not because I'm going to go see them. I'm not.

No! The reason I can't wait for them to come to Basel is that it means that they'll also soon (January 11, 2009) be leaving Basel, and then...

I WON'T HAVE TO SEE THIS STINKIN' POSTER EVER AGAIN!!!

Sheesh! It's been on billboards, buses, trams, and every other place I've set my eyes since the start of this year, and...I'M TIRED OF THIS STINKIN' POSTER!!!

There is one thing I do like about it though...

Doesn't the Blue Man on the left look like Bob Denver from Gilligan's Island if he had a blue face and...oh...

...wasn't dead?

Laughing...

...at somebody else's misfortune.

Mrs. TBF sent this video clip to me yesterday. I've watched it several times, and I'm still laughing my ass off.

Enjoy!

Eight Down...

...and NO MORE than two to go!

Today marks eight years since the beginning of the Swiss chapter of my life. You can read all about it right here if you like.

I recently began The Final Countdown. No more than 730 days to go!

Bluetooth

The low-tech version, that is.

Dr. Andy and I went to a wine tasting in Basel this past Saturday afternoon. We were there for a couple of hours, and we sampled (and bought) a lot of wine. Really, if you added up all the sips, we probably each drank only the equivalent of two glasses of wine. However, there was a lot of slurping and swishing and at one point I said to Andy: "I hope my teeth aren't as blue as yours." As turned out, they were even bluer.

Time to break out the Crest Whitestrips.

Jumping On The Bandwagon!

For the first time in more than a century, Chicago has two chances at a Major League baseball championship, and my upcoming trip to Chicago will coincide with games 6 & 7 of the Cubs/Sox World Series.

So who's getting me tickets?

Seeing Red...

Hey, remember when I hauled that beast of a burning bush up to our rooftop garden a couple of years ago?

It was worth the effort!

Have It Your Way...

...or should I say?: Имеет оно ваш путь

Help Wanted:

Young, energetic people-person.

Must be fluent in a minimum of two languages (fluency in 3 - 4 languages is a plus!).

Must be trusted to handle money and the ability to work with small electronic machinery is also necessary.

If you meet all the above requirements, then you too may qualify for a job working the counter at the Basel BURGER KING!!

Mrs. TBF and I stopped for lunch this past Saturday afternoon, as we sometimes do, at Basel's sole Burger King. It's quite the operation. And yes, it does taste pretty much the same (AWESOME!), and look the same, as it does in America. There is, however, one major difference: the people who work at the Basel Burger King all wear name tags which have flags of countries representing the different languages they speak.

The girl who served me must be a real flunky because she only spoke German and French (sheesh...no English?). But the girl at the next register spoke German, French, English, and Russian. I glanced over at another employee's name tag, and she spoke German, French, English, Japanese, and Hebrew (...gonna need a wider name tag).

Ummm...why are these people working at Burger King and not, let's say, the U.N. or W.H.O.?

As I've said before, I've even been served by a young lady at this particular Burger King who speaks German, French, English, and...FINNISH! It's all quite different from the fast-food restaurants in Chicago. There, the employees mostly speak Spanish as their first language and broken-English as their second language. I guess their name tags would have a Mexican flag and half of an American flag.

Of course, the name tags here have a Union Jack to represent English which means that I feel compelled to speak with a BRITISH accent (which my British friends say sounds like a Cockney accent) when ordering my food from an English-speaking employee.

Actually, it's pretty easy for me to pass myself off as British. All I have to do is...

...complain how uncivilized people outside of the U.K. are because they don't know how to form a proper queue, mispronounce Whopper as Wah-pah, order chips instead of fries, say sorry a lot, complain about the cheese not being proper Stilton, and make my face look like I just sucked on a lemon when I find out that they don't offer malted vinegar to go along with the chips.

Cheerio!

People Who Need People...

...are the luckiest people...in the world!

Mrs. TBF was in the U.S. this week....for one night.

She flew in on Tuesday, spent the night, had meetings on Wednesday, left on Wednesday evening, and slept for five hours on the return flight between NY and London.

Me? I went to bed at 3 a.m. on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning because I got sucked into a couple of really bad movies. Yes, at one point I found myself watching the Ann Jillian Story and felt that the only two options at that point were to either throw myself off the balcony OR go to bed, wake up the next morning, and pretend that it was all just a bad dream.

I chose the latter.

On Wednesday evening, I once again began to hear the sucking sound of the movie channels. However, the lack of sleep the previous night caused me to begin dozing on and off on the sofa, and I eventually stumbled to bed at the more reasonable hour of 12:45 a.m.

Yesterday evening, Mrs. TBF returned to Basel (Thank God!), and not empty-handed I might add.

Along with some hotel shower gel for me to use at the gym (I rarely have to buy shower gel), and a bottle of Tanqueray No. 10 from Heathrow Duty Free, she also brought home the latest issue of People magazine. I'm usually more of an Us fan, but Mrs. TBF knows that I LOVE the Best & Worst Dressed issue.

Hours of fun!

Of course, having lived outside of the U.S. for nearly eight years now, I haven't the slightest clue who many of the people are (Kim Kardashian, Leighton Meester, Selena Gomez, Mario Lopez, Ellen Pompeo, Diane Kruger, Kristen Bell, etc., etc.). But hey, it doesn't matter. It's still good reading.

This morning, while Mrs. TBF was getting ready for work, I came across a feature called Chic at Every AGE where they showed ten celebrity women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s. Suddenly, I found myself blurting out:

"You know what? Maybe I'm getting old, but I think the women in their 50s are the hottest looking group! As a matter of fact, I think I'd rank the 50s as the hottest, followed by the 40s, 30s, and then the 20s coming in last."

Of course, Rihanna wasn't included in the 20s group because she had been featured in The 10 Best Dressed section.

I don't know...Rihanna coupled with Scarlett Johansson and the also-rans that made up the rest of the 20s group would probably have bumped them up into third place....or maybe even second. And...

Oh...MY...GOD!!!

I just realized that...I'M OLD ENOUGH TO BE THEIR FATHER!!!!!!

Where's that balcony?

A Very Taxing Day!

Today is the day we pay our Swiss taxes. OK...they really don't need to be paid until next Tuesday, but I like to pay them a few days early just to make sure that the bank actually pays them - unlike last year.

That's right! Our bank did not approve the electronic payment I had set up (two weeks in advance) last September because the amount....EXCEEDED THE MAXIMUM MONTHLY AMOUNT ONE CAN PAY OUT OF HIS/HER BANK ACCOUNT. Maximum amount?!?!?!?! Wha' da?

Ummm...who's money is this anyway?

All was well in the end, however, after the private banker dude gave his "managerial" approval, and the taxes ended up finally being paid - ONE DAY LATE on October 1st!

Not this year, baby! The payment is set up for today, and I'll be on-line checking our account on Monday. No payment? Private banker dude will be gettin' a phone call from TBF.

Oh...and the grand total of our tax payment?

Ha! You think I'd tell you that? Of course I won't. However, here's an equation that will put it all into perspective.

The TBF's 2008 Swiss tax payment > Our first house + Mrs. TBF's first car + TBF's first car!!!

I just love it when I hear people (usually American youth who have yet to have their first real job) say "I think we should pay more taxes!" In fact, I think the I.R.S. should just add a voluntary, non-refundable extra tax payment line to the tax forms (You listening to me, I.R.S.?).

You see?

That way you could fund bridges to nowhere, wars, and financial bail-outs to your hearts' content.

Shortest Workout Ever!

I just returned from the gym. I had every reason to believe that it would just be a plain-old normal workout: I picked my locker, undressed, unpacked my gym bag, and....oh!

Instead of packing a pair of gym shorts, I packed a pair of Mrs. TBF's black pajama pants. Doh! Needless to say, there was NO WAY I was going to be able to squeeze into those things.

Oh well. I guess I didn't really feel like working out anyway. There's always next week.

And while we're on the topic of my gym...

Yesterday, I paid my annual membership...for the SEVENTH time!

I remember asking Mrs. TBF, when I first joined my gym in 2002, if we'd be living in Switzerland for at least one more year so that I'd get my money's worth out of the membership. Ha! What a laugh.

I didn't even bother asking her this time.

Friday Flashback: Last Day Of Work

This Sunday will mark the eighth anniversary of my last day of work. Just in case you're keeping score at home, that comes out to 2,920 days since I last traded my time for money.

Mrs. TBF says I am now completely unemployable. Me? I'm not so sure. I think, if I really tried, I could probably land a minimum-wage job somewhere in the world. Of course, I always have my friend Dr. Andy to fall back on. He's a VP of sales, and he's always telling me that "...we could use a guy like you!" So far, he's offered me sales positions in Paris and Moscow. But my deal-breaking demands of a mid six-figure salary, only working three days per week, and only working between the hours of 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. (with two hours off for lunch) on those days seems to have scared him off...at least for now.

Here's a picture of me on my last day of work - September 21, 2000. Since I had a company car (the white Chevy Impala on the right), my boss (Randy) had to drive me home in his car. Actually, he first took me out for dinner, and THEN he drove me home. That evening I took off the "work uniform" for the last time, and I've rarely worn a tie since then. Nowadays, on the rare occasion I do wear a tie, I really have to think about how to even tie one. Back in my working days I used to do it every single morning, without even thinking about it, when I was half-asleep.

Seeing this picture now has me thinking about Randy - all 5'6 AND 1/16th" of him ("When you're as short as me, you count every 1/16th of and inch!"). I'll be back in Chicago in just over a month, and it's been several years since I've seen him. Perhaps I should meet him for lunch and test whether I'm completely unemployable or not by asking him if he'd hire me back.

Hopefully, his answer will be NO!

Mother's Milk...

...still wet on your face.

You are a hero, Hans Locher! Don't give up the fight, and DAMN those Swiss food inspectors!

I've been saying for some time now that I'd like to taste mother's milk.

Yes! I'm talking HUMAN mother's milk! Are you...grossed out?

I think I've only watched a handful of Friends episodes, but I once saw one where Ross freaked out when one of the other friends tested the temperature of a baby bottle by splashing a little breast milk on his/her wrist and then licking it off. It was at that moment that I realized that I had not tasted mother's milk since I was a wee little Big Finn. I figured that...

...I gotta get me some!

I'm not really sure why I suddenly got the craving. Perhaps I wanted to see if the taste would trigger a taste memory (like a great bottle of wine) from 40+ years ago. Who knows?

I actually mentioned it to a couple of pregnant friends (naturally, with Mrs. TBF present) of ours over the years, and I was FLATLY rejected. Of course, I explained that I didn't need to taste it directly from the "tap", but I was still banished from getting anywhere near the sacred mommy fun bags.

Wait...

Did I call them mommy fun bags when I asked? Hmmm....maybe that was the problem!

About a year ago, I determined that I had probably blown my last good chance. As I was playing with my two-year-old niece, I suddenly realized that I could have asked my sister for a spoonful and she POSSIBLY would have obliged just to get me off her back. Oh, I can be VERY persistent.

A couple of years too late. What a bummer!

Now, I just read an article on swissinfo that Swiss food inspectors banned a restaurant from serving food containing "human" milk. I would SO have been there.

But, alas, I guess it's not meant to be...

...this time!

* Oh...my...GAWD! I just noticed that the title of the article is: Breast Milk Menu Too Titillating For Diners. Is that...Swiss...humor? OMG! Stop the presses! Swiss humor!!!!!!!

Thanks!

I officially entered the last year of my mid-forties this past weekend.

Many thanks go out to our friends (and King) who held a surprise birthday party for me at our apartment upon our return from Amalfi this past Saturday evening. Thanks for all the nice gifts (totally not necessary!), and an extra special thanks for all the party prep which included some spatchcock (butterflied) chicken and an extra-special birthday cake.

I think the TBF on the cake was a very good likeness of yours truly. Let's see what our child would look like...

Um...red hair?

750 Days To Go...

...AND COUNTING!!!

750 days from yesterday - October 6, 2010 - will mark ten years since I arrived in Switzerland. I have told Mrs. TBF that ten years of living in Switzerland WILL BE ENOUGH.

OK...yeah...I know, it would have been more meaningful if I had blogged about this yesterday when it was really 750 days to go instead of 749, but I was too busy getting things together for the dinner we hosted last night at our apartment for seven of Mrs. TBF's work colleagues, and I didn't have even a spare minute to blog.

Wasn't it nice of them to all come over and help me celebrate?

No, there's nothing wrong. I'm not suddenly unhappy living here, I'm not sitting in the apartment pining for America, and I don't even consider myself to have one foot out the door...YET. However, I just thought that the time has come to put a deadline on this chapter of our lives. We've been saying "...two more years" for five years now, and now it's time to say 'two more years' and really mean it.

OK, actually slightly more than two years, or...

...maybe less?

Summer To Fall...

...in a few hours!

It was sunny and humid with temperatures in the 30s (approaching 90˚F) while we were in Amalfi. As our flight approached Basel this past Saturday, we felt our tans fading VERY quickly as the captain announced that it was 13˚C (about 55˚F) and raining in Basel.

Oh...and speaking of our flight...

Here's a note to people flying with infants:

I understand that when you make baby talk in an irritating, high-pitched voice, in Italian, with an occasional CUCKOOOOOOOOO thrown in as extra torture, in the seat immediately behind mine during THE ENTIRE FLIGHT FROM NAPLES TO BASEL, you are just trying to keep your infant grand(?)child from crying. However, at some point (after about three seconds), I assure you that every person on the plane is wishing that you would just SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET THE BABY CRY!

Oh....My....GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!

I'm glad I didn't pay attention to the pre-flight safety instructions because had I known how to open the emergency door (we were sitting in the exit row), I probably would have ripped the door open (after making sure Mrs. TBF was buckled in, of course) and jumped to the peaceful sound of rushing air for a minute or two...before splattering on the rocky peak of some random mountain in the Alps.

Anyway...

Here are some pictures from Amalfi.

Buon Giorno, Comrades!

The Russians are coming! THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!!!!

Actually...they've already come.

HUNDREDS of them!!!

We first came to Amalfi three years ago: no Russians.

Two years ago, we came to Amalfi for the second time: a couple of Russians.

This year: our hotel is crawling with Russians.

They're everywhere!!!

We chose a couple of seaside chaise lounges our first day here, and we were surrounded by people speaking Russian.

They mostly sit under umbrellas, playing cards, taking calls and sending texts on their crack-berries, and ordering the occasional fruity, frozen cocktail. Then, they all get up together and go for a communal swim in the sea.

Overall, in my opinion, a very odd people.

Yuri: And now, comrades, we go for communal swim.

Ludmila: Oh, Yuri! You are like Russian sturgeon jumping out of Caspian Sea!

Yuri: Da!! I happy to see you!

Ludmila: Damn you, Yuri! You, once again, confuse Armani hat for bathing cap!

Yuri: No worry, my little sable. I buy 500 of them. I just wear one day, and then I throw out!

Ludmila: If you buy hats for yourself, what you buy for Ludmila?

Yuri: Oh, my little chinchilla... Perhaps I buy Santa Caterina hotel, and rename it Святой Катрин...just for you!

Ludmila: Who is awful man who reading English propaganda about Russia's rightful invasion of Georgia.

Yuri: I think he called Big Finn. Perhaps I call my friend Vladimir Putin and arrange to also have "peace keepers" sent to Finland!

An Eventful Week...

What's been going on over the past week?

A whoooooole lot!

I had to struggle through a few days of bachelorhood (thank God I'm married!) while Mrs. TBF participated in a mentoring program in Zermatt.

Sure!!!! While she whooped it up, I struggled to find any morsel of food to eat.

OK...that was a lie.

She spent endless hours in classes, and then worked her muscles to their absolute limit and defied death while going on a three-hour gorge "hike" which she describes as:

"...hanging-on off the side of a cliff for dear life!"

And me? I just went over to my friends' homes and ate all their food and drank all their wine.

Burp!....Hic!

On Monday, at 9:00 a.m., we walked out of our apartment as we left for Amalfi, Italy.

Five-and-a-half hours later, at 2:30 p.m., we sat at one of the restaurants at our hotel toasting to the good life and enjoying the local fare.

Life, and weather, are good!

Finnish Friday Flashback...

After my chance encounter with the Finnish guy on the tram earlier this week, I began thinking about other random encounters I've had with Finns throughout my life. Of course, this means random encounters OUTSIDE OF FINLAND because...well...there'd be nothing special about running into a Finn in Finland. Duh!

I think I've come across Finnish people probably about a dozen times in the eight years I've lived in Switzerland. Probably the most memorable time was when Mrs. TBF and I were in an art museum in Florence, Italy (Why can't we just call it Firenze?) and I eavesdropped on a Finnish tour guide explaining to a group of Finns that a particular painting of Jesus showed him "...in an effeminate pose not unlike that of a ballerina."!!!!

...Don't think the Italians would have appreciated that one.

Then, there is also the half-Swiss, half-Finnish girl who works the counter at "the" Basel Burger King. Ordering my Burger King meal in Finnish? Fun!!! Whopper comes out pretty much as VOPP-perrrri, and I tell her to "...heitä vähän juustoa ja pekoni siihen pääle" (throw a little cheese and bacon on it)!

However, probably my greatest random encounter with Finns, and the only one ever captured on film, occurred in November, 1997 when Mrs. TBF and I were in Hawai'i celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary.

Mrs. TBF and I decided to get all athletic one day by hiking up to the top of Diamond Head. After huffing and puffing our way to the top (we were both carrying a lot of extra weight back then), Mrs. TBF went to the very highest observation point to take some panoramic photos. While I stood there, enjoying the breeze and the scenery, I heard a familiar sound. I looked over and saw a mother and father speaking in Finnish with their daughter who was wearing a Finlandia vodka hat. Imagine their shock when I asked them in Finnish if they would like me to take a photo of them together. After talking to them for a minute, Mrs. TBF came down the stairs, heard me talking, and said:

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

She couldn't believe it, but she had to believe it because...it was true!

When you least expect it, EXPECT IT!!! Finns are lurking everywhere!

That Reminds Me...

The 6:55 p.m. tram pulled up at the Heuwaage tram stop yesterday evening, and it was crowded.

VERY crowded.

I had just finished working out, and I was looking forward to sitting down for the seven minute ride from Heuwaage to the tram stop by our apartment.

It wasn't going to happen.

The tram was filled to capacity with a bunch of people wearing name tags. They were all speaking English with each other, and they appeared to be heading toward the zoo. Why? No idea. I'm also not really sure why they were in Basel (convention? business meeting?), but I guess I didn't really care why. All I cared about was that they were keeping me from restin' me weary bones.

Then, through my ear buds, I heard a familiar sound. I turned off my iPod, took out one of my ear buds, and I confirmed that what I had indeed just heard was a man speaking English with a Finnish accent. He sounded just like my dad. I looked down at his name tag, and I saw that he had a Finnish name.

Without even thinking twice, I blurted out an enthusiastic:

Tervetuloa Sveitsiin!*

The guy was a bit startled at first, but then we began talking to each other in Finnish. We only talked for about a minute since he (and about a zillion of his colleagues) was getting off at the next stop, but I have to say that it's always fun having a random encounter with a Finn.

After half the tram car emptied out and I got a seat (Thank God!), I got to thinking, and I was reminded that...

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO FINLAND IN OVER THREE YEARS!!!!

Not only that, but in that time...

I'VE BEEN TO ITALY SIX TIMES (Mrs. TBF = at least 8 times!!!).

I am, therefore, declaring that I will not be setting foot into Italy again until after WE have taken another trip to Finland!!!

Ok, OK! We're going to Amalfi next week, so let me rephrase that:

I AM DECLARING THAT I WILL NOT STEP FOOT INTO ITALY AGAIN...AFTER NEXT WEEK...UNTIL WE HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER TRIP TO FINLAND!!!


*That means "welcome to Switzerland" and I THINK that's how you spell it.

Rainy Days And Mondays...

...don't always get me down.

We just had a week-long stretch of beautiful weather, but it had to end eventually. This afternoon we had a good downpour, but all is not lost - the nice weather is supposed to return tomorrow.

It's amazing (or maybe it's not) how sunny mild weather reduces my desire to sit inside and blog. Plus, I'm guessing that reading about us sitting around in the rooftop garden enjoying the late summer weather doesn't make for the most interesting reading, so no real loss.

I will say, however, that we did have a GREAT (if I do say so myself) impromptu get-together this past Friday evening. First, let me just say that Mrs. TBF is totally opposed to my T.G.I.I.F. (Thank God It's Impromptu Friday) rule: guests (excluding first-time guests) bring their own things to grill, we provide the grill, drinks, and sides. My reasoning is that "impromptu" means that it can be thrown together quickly and without a lot of advanced notice. The last thing I want to do is spend all day on Friday in the kitchen cooking up a bunch of stuff. I just keep the grill lit, and guests can eat whatever, and whenever, they want.

Mrs. TBF?

She likes to spend all day in the kitchen preparing for guests.

However...

This time, Mrs. TBF was in the U.S. on business starting on Monday, and she didn't return to Basel until Thursday evening. In the meantime, I invited eight people over for the T.G.I.I.F., and SHE HAD NO WAY TO CONTROL THE SITUATION!!!

Mwah...Ha...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Sure, she tried. She tried REAAAAAAAAAAL hard. As she sat in the BA Lounge at JFK on Thursday, she tried suggesting things for me to make.

Mrs. TBF: How about...?

TBF: Nope!

Mrs. TBF: But what about...?

TBF: Nope! I have already purchased PRE-MARINATED, VACU-SEALED MEAT. I will cut open the packets at the side of the grill, and I will plop the meat on the grill, and ...VOILA!!! Dinner is served.

Mrs. TBF: You know, I am vehemently opposed to people bringing their own things to grill.

TBF: Too bad!

Mrs. TBF: How about that salad that I made...

TBF: Nope! I have already decided on SIMPLE side dishes that will be served FAMILY STYLE! The T.G.I.I.F. "master" hath spoken!

I finally relented a little bit and agreed to the addition of a Caprese salad which, I might add, I allowed Mrs. TBF to make herself when she came home from work on Friday evening.

See? I'm not totally evil!

The outcome? Mrs. TBF ended up eating some good, old-fashioned crow on Saturday morning when she 'fessed up that the T.G.I.I.F. had been a success. Not to be one to...um...gloat or anything, but I ended up proclaiming that it was only fair that she call me "Master of the T.G.I.I.F."! I thought about it again, and then I said that it would be OK if she just shortened it to "MASTER", and that she would only have to call me that for the next 48 hours.

I should have quit while I was ahead!

My Progeny...

Mrs. TBF and I decided a LONG time ago that we didn't want to have children. When we first got married, we thought we'd eventually start a family. But we decided to wait three years. Before we knew it, our third wedding anniversary was upon us. We talked about it, but we decided we weren't ready and that we'd wait a couple more years.

Fifth anniversary? Nope...still not ready.

Seventh anniversary? Nope...too busy raising three cats and a dog.

When we were in Hawai'i in 1997 celebrating our tenth anniversary we talked about the whole "starting a family thing" and we decided then and there that neither one of us really wanted to be a parent...ever! Of course, it wasn't until last year that I took the "final step" to ensure that I would never father a child.

OK...too much info.

Although I'm 100% happy with the decision to not become a father, there is that teeny-weeny voice in the back of my head that wonders what our children would have looked like. Today, while reading some blogs, I came across a website that allows one to upload two pictures to see what their children would look like. The site is:

www.makemebabies.com

According to the website, our son would have looked like this. I have to admit that I was a bit alarmed to find that we would have produced a son with a lopsided face. But I have to admit that the hair color is pretty close to the color of my hair when I was growing up.

Our daughter would have looked like this. She actually would have been kind of cute. After seeing these two pictures, I definitely would have preferred a cute girl to a son with a freakishly lopsided face.

Of course, curiosity got the best of me and...


Here would be the result of the immaculate conception (ABSOLUTELY NO MATING WOULD BE INVOLVED) between...me and King. It's strange that I never noticed, but apparently King is black. Who knew?

Had my man-seed somehow fertilized a Scotch egg...THIS would have been the rather unfortunate offspring.

And last but not least...

Had I somehow managed to clone myself, the result would have been...

...a child who looks absolutely nothing like me whatsoever!

Although...I do like to swim!

Sunshine On My Shoulder...

...makes me happy.

It looks like we're going to have some nice weather here in Basel this week.

That being said...

Why am I sitting in the apartment NOT enjoying the nice weather?

Another Exemption!

Hand/eye coordination improvement device.

NOT clutter!

Hi-Yo Silver!!!

Today was an excellent mail day!!!

Kind of sad, isn't it? I actually rate mail days...

The mailman buzzed me from downstairs and informed me that he was leaving our recently ordered box of Nespresso capsules in the lobby.

coffee...Coffee...COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Hey! But that's not all!

When I went down to grab the Nespresso box, I also checked the mailbox and found that I had received my new British Airways SILVER Executive Club card.

I'M SILVER, PEOPLE!!!!

Of course, Mrs. TBF has to ruin my fun by pointing out that since I always fly business class on overseas flights anyway, I'm allowed to use Fast Track and the lounge even without having Silver status. Which I then counter by saying: "HA! But now I'll earn BONUS MILES on all of my flights on BA. Ha!"!

...HA!

Of course, then I'm reminded that Mrs. TBF has GOLD status, and that she can use the First Class Lounge. The only way I can use it is if I go in as her guest.

That's it!

I'M GOING FOR GOLD!!!

Never Say Never?

We are the proud owners of brand spankin'-new C-permits. These are the permits that allow "us" to continue working and living in Switzerland. I went to our town hall right after coming back from Chicago a couple of weeks ago to apply for them, so the fact that we got them isn't really that much of a surprise.

There was a moment of concern, however, when I noticed as I was waking in to renew them that Mrs. TBF's previous C-permit had actually EXPIRED A COUPLE OF WEEKS EARLIER!!! The expiration on my permit was August 16th, but Mrs. TBF's was actually in July.

Oops!

However, after I brought it up (aren't I honest?) with the town official, he told me there was absolutely no problem at all. You see, MEN RULE IN SWITZERLAND. The fact that my permit had not yet expired - even though Mrs. TBF is the one who works - meant that we weren't violating any laws. However, I'm kind of enjoying the thought that, technically speaking, Mrs. TBF was a schwarz Arbeiter for a couple of weeks.

Upon receiving the new permits in the mail a couple of days ago (with a rather arbitrary bill for CHF 66), I noticed that the new ones are good for five years; the last ones were only good for three.

Wow! Five years!

Now, I generally try to never say never, BUT...

The chance of us still living here in Switzerland when the new C-permits expire, five years from now, are extremely small. I'm not going to say it would never happen, but...

I'm definitely thinking it!

Exemption!

I hereby propose that my 240 souvenir shot glasses be officially categorized as a collection, and not as clutter.

Those opposed, say nay!

.......

(tick...tock...tick...tick)

.......

(clearing of throat)

.......

(gavel strikes!!!)

The bill has been officially passed into TBF-Household law!

This session is adjourned!

(gavel strikes again!!!)

THE Crusade!

More specifically, the one-hour anti-clutter crusade - it began yesterday.

Every single day, until...oh...I don't know when, I'm going to spend one hour each morning systematically going through every square inch of floor space/cabinet/drawer/dresser/shelf to eliminate things we don't need. Our house isn't cluttered at all, but...

...there's always room for improvement!

I tackled our not-too-big-bookshelf in the guest room yesterday, and at least 20% of the books are either going into the garbage, into recycling, or are being passed on to other people. Here's my question:

Why keep books?

Sure, we'll keep the books we reference frequently like cookbooks, gardening books, and coffee table books, but why keep anything else? Have I ever re-read a book?

No!

If I feel the urge to read a book a second time, I'll just go out and buy it again. Who needs a bunch of extra books sitting on shelves getting moldy and collecting dust?

Also, while going through the books, I discovered some that neither of us have read that we probably bought fifteen years ago. We'll keep those, read them, then chuck 'em...or pass them on to others.

This morning, I tackled the IKEA cabinet in our office.

Why do...I mean, did...we have fifty 9x13 mailing envelopes and about a zillion letter-sized envelopes?

Recycled!

Old APS camera?

Garbage!

Carrying case for a Sony Discman?

Garbage!

French and German workbooks?

Recycling!

Oh...and here's a little bit of advice:

Don't waste your own money on foreign language classes, books, or tapes UNLESS YOU HAVE AN INCREDIBLY STRONG DESIRE TO LEARN THE LANGUAGE!!!

I mean, how many people are out there, and how many BILLIONS of dollars have been spent on foreign language classes/materials with the result being that the people who bought them can't speak the language even at a conversational level AND the materials are just sitting on some shelf taking up space...getting moldy...collecting dust?

Learning a foreign language is a good thing, but...

...GET YOUR COMPANY, OR SOMEBODY ELSE, TO PAY FOR IT!!!

Wow! Few things give me as much pleasure as a manic, clutter-purging binge.

I think I need a cold shower!

Easy Like Sunday Morning...

Mrs. TBF often plays tennis with Dr. Rammy (neuroscience) on Sunday mornings. I love it when Mrs. TBF plays tennis because it means that:

she gets exercise,

she has girly-time with Rammy, and...

I get T.O.B. when she gets home.

T.O.B.???

TENNIS OUTFIT BREAKFAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday Soiree...

The non-stop entertaining schedule continues...

Two of Mrs. TBF's work colleagues and their spouses came over for dinner on Saturday evening. The weather was absolutely perfect, so we enjoyed starters (roasted red pepper roll-ups, mortadella packets, and chicken liver crostinis) and champagne up on the rooftop. Then we all came downstairs for dinner (stuffed zucchini blossoms, cold melon soup with crispy prosciutto, cedar planked salmon, veal chops with potatoes Lyonaisse, beans from our garden, and carrots) all washed down with various wines. After dinner, it was back upstairs for more al fresco dining; cheeses followed by meringue with berries and some dessert wine.

Let's see now...

One...two...three...

Four?

Didn't we have four people over for dinner?

Oh...THERE he is!

I guess all that fresh air was too much for him.

The Bug Doctor

Our old neighbor, entomologist/"bug doctor" Dr. John (not to be confused with the current, neuroscientist Dr. John) came into Basel on business for one night, and one night only. I hadn't seen him since I met him in Amsterdam nearly three years ago, and Mrs. TBF hadn't seen him in about four years.

John the Bug Doctor and his family moved from Basel back to the U.S. about five years ago. Except for the fact that Mrs. TBF and I are both significantly lighter than we were back then, we live in a new apartment, and Dr. John has a new hip (modeling his scar here with our friend Dr. - of chemical engineering - Andy), it seemed just like old times when we got together.

Sure, Dr. John still refuses to stop living in the glory days of the 60s and 90s Packers (face it...Favre is gone and NOT coming back!), but that didn't stop us from having a nice dinner, drinking a few beers, and talking about things past, present, and future.

He has another trip to Basel scheduled for the end of the year.

Double Dr. John Party?

Yet Another Note To Self...

Note To Self:

Don't show up at the Migros just before 8:00 a.m.

And...

Don't show up at the Migros just before 9:00 a.m. either.

I walked into the Migros at around 8:55 this morning so I could pick up a few odds and ends - the store was practically empty. A quick in and out, right?

WRONG!

Apparently, all of Switzerland takes a break from work at 9:00 a.m. because as I walked up to the lone cashier at around 9:03 a.m., there was a 10-deep line of people all buying some variation of sandwich/snack and beverage. Naturally, the moment I put my stuff on the conveyor (by this time there were about five people behind me in line) another line opened up and everybody behind me jumped into the just opened line.

Lesson learned!

Making The Hard Decisions...

I just got off the phone with a VERY pleasant, English speaking customer service representative from our local utility - EBM. I've been mulling over our most recent utility bill for the past couple of months now, and I finally decided that today was the day that they would be receiving a call from me.

I've noticed the words "EBM Strom CO2-frei" on my last couple of bills. I figured that we had been voluntarily signed up for carbon offsets without my permission, and I decided to call to find out just how much this green tax was costing us. If it was a reasonable amount, no problem. I mean, I buy carbon offsets for travel all the time, so no big deal.

As it turns out, I found out that everybody is automatically enrolled in the carbon offset program (the standard product) unless they opt out. There is an option to pay a lower non-carbon offset rate, and there is also an option to pay a higher fee that is called "EBM Strom atomfrei" - whatever that is. Nicole - the VERY pleasant, English speaking customer service rep - told me that the atomfrei rate is for "...people who are rich and have nothing else to do with their money." Nicole was kind of sassy! I liked her.

In the end, I opted for the cheapest rate. What really kind of ticks me off about these different rate structures is that the sales tax (7.6%) is charged on all three of them. That means that the Swiss tax man gets extra tax money from people who are paying extra to offset their carbon footprint. I just don't think that's right. What I think the utility SHOULD do is charge everybody the lowest rate and then allow people to buy carbon offsets WITHOUT PAYING THE SALES TAX ON THE ADDITIONAL AMOUNT.

I thought long and hard (about two seconds) before making my decision, but I eventually decided that saving 35% on our utility bill was worth the inconvenience of a little climate change.

Sorry.

Life's A Beach!

In case anybody is interested, here's a link to pictures we took during our beach week on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

Comfort Food

We've had yet another brush with celebrity.

I was enjoying my 1.5 hour snooze on the sofa in the Concorde Lounge at Heathrow when Mrs. TBF woke me up (the NERVE!!!) to tell me that our flight would be boarding soon (oh...thanks!).

Oh...and by the way, Mrs. TBF...thanks for the flattering photo. Revenge WILL be sweet!

While I was wiping away the crud from my eyes and the drool from my cheeks, I glanced over Mrs. TBF's shoulder and noticed a BA employee fawning over a man who looked very familiar. I heard the BA lady say "Just let me know if there's anything at all I can do for you...." and the celeb-dar in my groggy brain began beeping.

The man just sat there staring straight ahead as if he was in a trance, so he didn't notice me staring, trance-like, at him. I stared, rubbed my eyes, stared a bit more, and then it hit me...

MEAT LOAF!!!

I noticed on his official website that he had performed in London the night before, so I'm 100% sure it was him.

He was sitting with a lady, but he didn't say one word to her. He just sat there, staring straight ahead, like a zombie. Was he tired from the previous night's performance? Hungover? Sleeping pills? Who knows? I guess selling over 70 million albums, appearing in a bunch of movies, and touring relentlessly is hard work.

...I wouldn't know.

But I'm happy to announce that the 13-month brush with celebrity drought is officially over!

We Saw A Sign...

...on a Christian academy in Arlington Heights, Illinois yesterday that said:

JESUS CHRIST IS KING!

So now that we've suddenly discovered that our cat is Jesus Christ, we figured it was about time we got headin' back to Switzerland so we can show him some love.

It's approaching 7 p.m. in Chicago, and we're just sittin' here in the BA Lounge enjoying a couple of cool drinks and looking at the beautiful blue Chicago sky waiting for our 8:25 flight to London.

We feel like we've been away from home for a looooooooooooong time! I guess it HAS been two weeks, but it actually feels longer than that; maybe it's because we've crammed so many things into the past fourteen days.

I have to admit that I could stay here (a lot) longer, but Mrs. TBF has to get back to work, AND...we don't want to tick-off Jesus.

Talk to all youse guyses soon!