Thursday, November 04, 2004

Strange sightings at the gym...

I forgot to mention that I saw three strange things in the locker room at my gym yesterday.
First, when I arrived, I saw a man grab ONE paper towel from the dispenser and proceed to stand on it while he was getting dressed after his workout. He would stand on the paper towel balancing on one foot, put one leg into his pants, switch feet, etc., etc. He actually fell off the paper towel at one point and really seemed ticked off about the fact that his bare foot touched the locker room floor. I'd say this is a little bit obsessive. The Swiss are really into not producing excess garbage. This had to be his motive combined with an unfounded fear of getting athletes foot. I say unfounded because the cleaning lady comes in and cleans the locker room floor about every thirty minutes. I'd say that fungus has about a .0001% chance of surviving on that floor for more than a couple of seconds. Good God...just use an extra paper towel, or better yet, just stand on the floor with your bare feet.
Second crazy thing...
I saw a man using one of the blow dryers to blow dry his feet. He sat on the bench with his naked butt touching the wood and his bare feet touching the floor, and he sat there for about two minutes blow drying his feet. Does this strike anybody else as a bit strange? I understand why he wants to dry his feet well, but one guy is standing on a paper towel because he doesn't want his bare foot to touch the floor, and another guy has his naked butt on the bench and bare feet on the floor. Maybe they could have a conversation and agree on some kind of compromise.
After my workout as I was getting dressed, I noticed this young guy primping his hair for about five minutes. I am not exaggerating. This guy was teasing his streaked hair for no less than five minutes. His hair kind of made him look like he belonged in Jefferson Starship circa 1985. He kept pulling at it, and putting a little more gel in it, and turning his head from side to side while looking in the mirror, all the while not changing the look of his hair in any way whatsoever. It really made me glad that I shave my head - it's definitely easier and much less time consuming. I kind of watched him out of the corner of my eye, and I would have watched him longer to see what the end result was going to be, but I noticed that I was dressed and I had no real reason to be sitting there anymore. I didn't want him to realize I was watching him since I recently read in FHM magazine that Switzerland is the gayest country in Europe, and I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. So, I had no choice but to leave. Now that I think about it, I should have waited in the cafe to see how much longer he stayed in that locker room.
Well, there you have it - yesterday's trilogy of weird. I'd have to say that it was an appropriate precursor for another weird Swiss male phenomenon that usually begins around this time of year: the full-body, five-minute application of body lotion after the workout and shower. But, perhaps, I'll save that for another time.

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