The Folks Are Alright!

As usual, Mrs. TBF and I stayed at Jo the mother-in-law's townhouse while we were in Chicago. Mrs. TBF flew to Chicago with me, left on business for a couple of days the following week, came back for my 25th reunion, and then flew back out on business again. That left me with some quality "alone" time with Jo Mama.

One evening, I told her that I'd take her out for dinner. Of course, a negotiation ensued which resulted in us having to go out to eat at 5 p.m. (I obviously lost the negotiation) at a place where she could eat a salad. We agreed on California Pizza Kitchen, and off we went. And... let me tell you: I earned some big-time son-in-law points parking in the spot right in front of the door instead of my normal parking spot: far away, requiring her to walk and get some exercise.

Jo Mama is doing well. Although she complains about every and all possible ailments throughout the day, she's really in very good health considering that she is nearly 80. You'd never guess it by looking at her.



Also as usual in the fall, I rendezvoused with my parents (on their way from Canada to spend the winter in Florida) at my sister's house. I only saw them for a couple of days because they didn't get down to Chicago until the tail end of my stay, but we managed to spend a decent amount of time together.

They, like Jo Mama, are also doing well. They look fit, happy, and ready to spend the winter living the good life in warm, sunny Florida. I plan on going to Florida again this winter, so I'll see them again soon. This will be my third year in a row going to there during the dead of winter.

Does that now count as an annual trip?

Hey...Remember me????

I know, I know...I haven't blogged in a long time. And, I also haven't been very active in reading, commenting or really all things "blog". But, I am trying to turn over a new leaf. TBF has been on my case now for a long time about it, so today I decided that there's no time like the present, so here I am again. The big question for me is do I have anything that interesting, amusing, intelligent or otherwise compelling to say??? Well, at the moment I must admit that I really don't. But, maybe you do, so I'm going to pose a question. But first, a prelude to the question....

As you've read, TBF and I were back in Chicago for a few days together. At the end of one of my biz trips I flew to Chicago to meet him and spend the weekend visiting family and friends...frantically moving from one place to another to see as many people as possible in a short time. Luckily, things worked out pretty well and we got to see some people that we weren't able to hook up with last August. I always end up feeling bit stressed though and I would hate for people to feel as though we rushed through the visit. One evening we had what I would call a pretty relaxed dinner with Jo Mama. It was relaxed in that she didn't protest to drinking a glass of wine, having soup and a burger, and even a few spoonfuls of our shared dessert. The restaurant wasn't crowded and I generally didn't feel we were rushed out the door to turn a table which is usually the case on a Friday night. We also had a nice conversation which was not littered with angst or guilt over anything...not an easy thing for Jo Mama who worries about EVERYTHING! When we left Jo Mama's house to go to the restaurant, TBF announced with confidence that he was looking forward to his (our) mega-million dollar lottery winnings, but first we needed to remind him to buy some Lotto tickets. On the way to dinner we forgot to buy the winning ticket, but on the way home Jo Mama and I made sure that he bought the winning ticket.

Well, as you may have guessed, we did not win the Lotto. Our spread of numbers was absolutely pathetic. But, the nice thing about the Lotto is that it always gets you thinking. If you didn't think there was a chance to win you wouldn't buy a ticket, right? I honestly believe that every single person who buys a ticket, even if it's just one ticket believes that he or she can and will win. Who doesn't eagerly review the winning numbers against their own ticket(s) with anticipation? And who doesn't think about what they would do if they won...the big one???

So, prelude over. TBF and I are no different. We've had the conversation about what we'd do if we won. We've talked about our "magic number" that we'd need for me to join him in retirement. We've discussed buying a home, or maybe two. We've talked about our investment strategy. So, now the questions....

1. What's your magic number - what size lottery would you need to win to feel you could retire?
2. What's the first thing you'd buy?
3. Would you take a lump sum or an annual annuity, and why?

Ciao!

Friday Flashback: Five Years Ago & 35 lbs. Heavier Edition

Every now and then I like to take a little wander down memory lane and see what there is to see. Yesterday, I decided to see what was going on five years ago this month, and I uncovered this golden oldie.

Jo - the mother-in-law - had just been in Basel for a visit. After she left, I went up to the guest room to strip the bed, and I discovered that she had left one of her fleeces behind in the dresser. Sensing potential photographic gold, I stripped down to my birthday suit, squeezed into her several-sizes-too-small fleece, and snapped this self-portrait on January 7, 2004.

On my next visit to Chicago, I returned her fleece. Of course, I waited until I saw her wearing it before showing her the picture. Aren't I a great son-in-law?

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her wearing it since then. I wonder if she still has it?

My Kind Of Town...

I'm back in Basel, and Mrs. TBF is on a plane.

What else is new?

I made it back to Basel (no delays for a change) yesterday morning, and Mrs. TBF left for Singapore this afternoon. She'll be back on Friday.

Chicago was good. Here are some highlights:

Personal business was taken care of! Nothing bad...nothing major. It's just sooooo boring that I won't even get into it.

Classic Jo Mama Moment - I: I bought a "Blades Of Glory" DVD at Best Buy for Mrs. TBF (she LOVES that movie!). I brought it back to Jo Mama's house and put it on her coffee table so that she could watch it. At one point, while I was in my bedroom, she apparently picked it up, noticed the "Made In Mexico" sticker on it, and blurted out to herself: "Made in Mexico? Can't WE make anything anymore?!?!?!"

Classic Jo Mama Moment - II: Jo Mama told me (while we were eating dinner at California Pizza Kitchen) that she thinks the U.S. government should make sure that every single person in the U.S. has health insurance.

TBF: "Of course, you then agree that our taxes should be raised and your Social Security benefits should be cut immediately in order to fund this 'universal' health insurance. Right?"

Jo Mama: "Well...of course not! Why can't we do it like they do it in Canada?"

TBF: "You mean, the 'free' health system that is funded by 50+% income taxes and non-medical benefits that are lower than those in the U.S.?"

Jo Mama: (silence)

Chicago deep-pizza!! I took Jo Mama out for dinner on Friday night. I wanted to go to Gino's East for some Chicago pizza, but Jo Mama wanted to go to California Pizza Kitchen because they "...make the BEST chopped salad!" The salad ended up being "wilted", and the pizza sucked! Fortunately, the bro- and sis-in-law came to the rescue the next evening by ordering some Lou Malnati's deep-dish. It...was...AWESOME!

NOTE TO SELF: Don't stuff yourself with garlicky deep-dish pizza the night before an overseas flight!

Hassled by a crazy dude at O'Hare Airport: I arrived at O'Hare a good 3.5 hours before my Chicago-London flight because I wanted to buy some Japan Rail passes - for our upcoming trip - at the Japan Air Lines counter. I showed up at the counter, and...there was nobody there. After going to the information desk to find out what the deal was, I came to find out that the JAL counter is only open for a couple of hours in the morning. NOTE TO THE JAPAN RAIL WEBSITE: How about putting the JAL counter hours on your website?

Anyway...I had A LOT of time to kill, so I parked myself at a bar so I could have a couple of Okocims and watch some football. I won't get into details, but I ended up being hassled by a little old homeless/crazy dude who didn't like that I glanced over at the luggage cart containing his worldly possessions that he had just bumped into my barstool. I just ignored him until he called me a "earring-wearing faggot". Nobody, I mean NOBODY, insults my earrings, so I just told the tough-looking Polish bartender that the crazy dude was hassling me, and SHE told him to "...get da hell outta here or I'll call security!"

He ran like a sissy, my perfect record of never having been in a fight in my life remains intact, and my two-day-old manicure didn't get messed up.

Early Morning Cuppa...

I woke up this morning at 4:50 a.m. (as I usually do my first morning in Chicago), and I heard Jo Mama (the mom-in-law) flush the toilet. Since I felt like I didn't need more sleep, I got up, sat down with Jo Mama, drank a couple of cups of coffee, and we watched the morning news.

Why is there a local Chicago newscast at 5:00 a.m.? Just wondering...

Since Jo leaves for the senior center at 6:30 a.m., I asked her if she would drop me off at the Dunkin' Donuts in town so that I could get a buttermilk donut (HEAVEN!) and big-ass cup of coffee (best damn coffee in the world!) with cream and one Sweet 'N Low. Then, I figured I'd just walk to my sister's house which is about a mile away.

"What??? Are you crazy???" Jo asked. "You can't walk there...IT'S TOO FAR!!!" I assured her that it was only about a mile, and that it would only take me about fifteen minutes.

Jo Mama: "No! You can't do it!"

TBF: "Why not?"

Jo Mama: "You...you just...CAN'T!"

TBF: "I can, and I will. Thanks for the ride."

She was still in mid-sentence when I shut the car door, so I'm not really sure what she said. I just walked into Dunk and didn't look back. A couple of minutes later, after wolfing down my buttermilk donut, I was walking down the street to my sister's house.

I was surprised to find that there were sidewalks down the main street all the way to my sister's subdivision. But apparently I wasn't as surprised about the sidewalks as the commuters were to see a man walking down the street at 6:40 a.m. with a big-ass Dunkin' Donuts coffee. At 6:55 a.m. I walked up my sister's driveway. It had taken about fifteen minutes, and I'm estimating that it was about a mile.

See, Jo? I told you!

And thus endeth my Chicagoland walking for this trip. I'll pick up my rental car at noon today.

A fifteen minute mile is pretty good...isn't it?

Jo Mama And Jewry...

Jo Mama's back in Chicago now. Basel cooperated with nice weather (3.9 out of 5.0) during her stay, and it was a good visit overall. We each only got really angry with her one time...which isn't too bad at all.

I brought her to Zürich Airport yesterday morning for her 12:55 Swiss flight back to Chicago. This brings up something I've been wondering about for nearly seven years now...

What's the deal with all the Jewish people flying between Zürich and Chicago? I try to avoid Swiss as a rule because I think they suck as an airline, but on the few occasions I've flown Swiss to Chicago, the plane has been loaded with what I think are Hasidic Jews (dressed in black, wearing hats, men with curls at their temples). Yesterday, the Swiss check-in line was at least 75% made-up of men wearing yarmulkes, women dressed in black, etc. These were Americans and not people from Israel as was the case on my previous Swiss flights. Jo told me that the flight from Chicago to Zürich was the same. This fascinates me...

What's up with this? Why do so many of the world's 13 million Jews fly Swiss between Zürich and Chicago? Just wondering... Can anybody help me here? TBF needs to know!

Anyway...

Jo Mama's back at home, and all that's left of her visit is a pile of bed linens and towels that still need to be washed, a few empty bottles of prune juice that need to be recycled, and a few pictures that I finally uploaded into the computer. Here are three of my faves...

Jo Mama and Mrs. TBF sharing a pumpkin seed pretzel. Jo Mama's not supposed to eat seeds because they can aggravate her diverticulitis. However, she chose this moment to tell Mrs. TBF that "large seeds" don't bother her. I've also heard her say, in the past, that "small seeds" don't bother her. Dear Jo Mama: If large seeds AND small seeds don't bother you, then you probably don't have diverticulitis!

Jo Mama has been a widow for nearly ten years now. Whenever she comes to Basel, we always tell her that we're going to hook her up with a rich, elderly, Swiss gentleman. If we see somebody that fits the bill, we'll just say "suitor!" to see if she approves.

She NEVER approves.

Here is a rare photograph of Jo Mama with one of her "suitors". The guy is obviously checking her out, and she is, like, totally ignoring him. WHAT A TEASE!

Whenever the experience that is "living with Jo Mama" would become too much for yours truly, I just retreated into the sanctity of the rooftop garden (The Fishbowl) to clear my head. I could just feel the eyes of all the Swiss people in the tall apartment building - which we call One Big Bruno - staring down at me because: I was wearing shorts and flip flops in April; I was wearing plaid Bermuda shorts that no Swiss person would ever wear; I was trimming the boxwoods into two giant testicles while sitting and smoking a cigar ("...like an old Dago!" Mrs. TBF's words, not mine!). DEFINITELY stare-worthy, I'm sure, as far as the Swiss are concerned.

Hey, now that I'm looking back at these pictures...

Is that guy in the second picture actually staring at me?

Jo Mama Has...

...avoided bickering with her daughter while helping in the kitchen.

...cleaned ten artichokes resulting in black fingers.


...gotten over her jet-lag, enjoyed the nice weather, and is well into her sixth trip to Switzerland.

More to come...

Two Down, Two To Go!

I just heard Mrs. TBF's flight taking off for London. We are less than ten kilometers/six miles from Basel Airport; I often watch the planes taking off and landing, and I like to monitor where they are going to/coming from on the EuroAirport website.

I know, I'm a nerd...

Mrs. TBF is on her way to Atlanta via London and Chicago. She had a stroke of luck when her travel department called her and asked if she'd mind making a connection in Chicago because it was much cheaper than flying from London directly to Atlanta. Jo Mama (Mrs. TBF's mom) lives outside of Chicago.

Mrs. TBF doesn't mind.

So, instead of leaving on Sunday or Monday like she normally would, she ended up leaving early this morning so that she could spend some time with her mom in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. Of course, that meant that I had to get up early (for the second time this week) - on a SATURDAY MORNING, mind you - to drive Mrs. TBF to the airport. I dropped her off at 6:15 a.m. OUCH!

Tomorrow morning, I will be driving the Expatters to Zurich Airport for their triumphant return to the U.S. I have to be at their house - on a SUNDAY MORNING, mind you - at 7:00 a.m.! DOUBLE OUCH! We're going in two cars, and I don't know how we're all going to be divided up, but I do know that Grady will be in the Jeep with me. It's been a long time since there was a dog in the Jeep.

Kirk suggested that he and Gretchen go in one car, and that I take Grady and Baby.

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought that was it as far as morning runs to the airport go, but I forgot that I also have to pick up Jo Mama at Zurich Airport on Thursday morning at 11:00 a.m. when she arrives for a two-week stay. That one's not so bad; I'll just take the 9:42 a.m. train from Basel to Zurich Airport. I find the train very comforting; reading the paper, drinking an overpriced coffee, listening to music on the iPod. Plus, I like the fact that when I flush after taking a pee on the train that my pee is just dripping down onto the tracks.

...lots of TBF DNA scattered about the Swiss rail system. I like to think of it as leaving a legacy.

As fate would have it, Mrs. TBF and Jo Mama will both be arriving in Switzerland on Thursday morning. However, Jo Mama will be arriving in Zurich, and Mrs. TBF will be arriving in Basel. We booked Jo Mama's ticket for her direct flight from Chicago to Zurich on Swiss a few months back. Mrs. TBF hates flying overseas on Swiss, so she opted to stick with British Airways.

Once these early-morning airport shuttles are done, the next early-morning drive to the airport will be when I take the 7:00 a.m. flight to London on April 18th to connect for a flight to Chicago.

I'll have no problem waking up early on April 18th!