Friday, June 15, 2007

Spawn Of Satan MUST Die!

A couple of evenings ago, Mrs. TBF (a.k.a. the Road Warrior) asked me what was eating the basil in our herb garden. Why the Road Warrior? I'll tell you why: last week she was in NJ/Chicago/NYC, this week she left for NYC on Monday at around noon and was back in Basel on Wednesday evening, and next week she leaves for NJ (or NYC...not sure) and Atlanta on Monday and returns on Friday...SHEESH!!!

Where was I? Oh yeah, what's eating the basil???

I told her that it was probably nothing and that the basil was probably just lagging a little behind this year. Apparently not convinced of my gardening expertise, she decided to have a closer look. That's when I heard her say the words that gardeners dread:

"Is that a...SLUG?"
It was...I mean...THEY were!

How's this possible? Our herb garden is on the roof of our building?

I'm guessing that the little "effers" came in on one of the plants I bought at the local nursery, and then began multiplying exponentially. Regardless of how they made it to the rooftop, they HAD to go.

We spent the next hour or so getting rid of about thirty slugs. Mrs. TBF would find them with a flashlight, and I'd pick up the slimey Satanic spawn and flick them over the side of the building. Oh, by the way neighbors who live two floors below us: Sorry! I didn't know you were down there on your patio enjoying an after-dinner drink until I heard your voices...right after flicking about fifteen slugs right in your direction. I hope none of them landed on you.

After getting rid of all the slugs we could by hand, we then set beer traps. In case you don't know, beer traps are a great way of getting rid of slugs. Just sink a little bowl into the soil so that the lip is at ground level. Then, fill the bowl up with beer. The slugs are drawn to the beer like steel to a magnet, they begin drinking, get drunk, and fall in. MWAAAAAH-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Of course, wasting good beer on these little bastards is almost as bad as having the slugs in the first place, so I went out the next morning and bought slug poison. And...King was happy to find out that I spent twice the money for the slug poison that won't harm dogs, cats, or...hedgehogs if they eat the dead slugs.

Wait a second...hedgehogs?

Yup...hedgehogs! God forbid you should harm hedgehogs in Switzerland. I think killing one of these fleabags results in a fine AND death by hanging, or something like that.

Alls well that ends well...

I just checked the herb garden this morning, and there appears to be no evidence of any remaining members of Satan's brood.

I plan to keep it that way!


CanadianSwiss said...

I HATE slugs! Beer traps are really quite effective, but also pretty gross! The pellets you used (we also use that brand) are really good.

Aww. Hedgehogs are so cute! Plus, you don't really have to worry about the fleas unless you want to cuddle with one, and I don't think you'd want to try that.

Michael Lehet said...

Thank goodness you didn't have hedgehogs up there. I can just imagine the mess they would have made!

The DP said...

You know what I hate about slugs? All these freakin hills in Lausanne and if you don't have your slug radar out and have the misfortune to step on one...if i'm not slippin on ice in this place i am slippin on slugs...
plus slug innards (well innard, it's like one long intestine, like a worm) are army of them out there waiting to trip me

Colon Blow said...

If you were a fisherman, you could probably use them as bait...hey, you could have opened a bait shop with all those slugs you flung over the side!

christina said...

Amazingly I've only seen one slug in our garden this year and it promptly got tossed over the fence (the neighbours were on holiday at the time). Normally we have TONS of them and they drive me nuts. I think there must be slug eggs in some of the nursery plants one buys because we've had the little beggars in the most impossible places.

And hey, be nice to hedgehogs - they're the ones that think slugs are a delicacy. :-)

Michelle said...

I got some new stuff to try on the buggers from my father - phophate pellets. This is the end, my friends. mwahhahhaaha.