Thursday, March 08, 2007

When I Should Have Been Sleeping...

I awoke with a start this morning at about 6:00 a.m. as Mrs. TBF gave me a quasi-Singapore Air wake-up. Never flown Singapore Air? The Singapore Air wake-up is when the Singapore Air flight attendant (all babes, by the way!) gently rubs your arm to wake you up and asks you if you would like to continue sleeping...or have breakfast. After a few too many "WAKE UP!!"s, I kindly requested that Mrs. TBF take a lesson from the Singapore Air flight attendants and wake me up in a loving and gentle manner.

This morning was not loving and gentle. It reminded me a little of when I sand the teak patio furniture in the spring.

But...I can't blame her; she had a train to catch - the 7:03 a.m. train to Nyon for an overnight trip. So, we'll zip ahead to about 6:45 a.m. when I'm driving her (MUST...STAY...ON...ROAD!) to the train station. We got to the train station (about five minutes from our house) in plenty of time for her to buy her ticket while I bought her a banana at a little kiosk run by an incredibly efficient foreigner (Asian). Kudos! Then, we went down to the platform...

I have only one question: Why does Mrs. TBF choose to take a trip to Nyon every year during the Geneva Auto Show?

I'm not joking...this happens every year. We get on the platform, and then it goes something like this:

TBF: Why the hell are there so many people here for this train?

Mrs. TBF: Oh NO! The !@#$%%^ Geneva Auto Show!

At this point, we must take offensive measures. Nearly every First Class seat has been reserved by the 60-or-older Swissy crowd (usually they're only reserved by tourists...HA! SUCKERS!), and boarding becomes a bit of a scramble. Our strategy is to head in different directions, and each look individually for the first non-reserved seat.

Mrs. TBF went left, and I went right.

I found two seats and staked my claim. Mrs. TBF had a bit of a desperate look in her eyes when she came into my car and saw that I had procured two seats facing each other.

Believe me, she was very relieved.

I sat with her for a few minutes, and then I kissed her goodbye about a minute or two before the train was scheduled to depart. Hopefully, nobody sat in the seat facing her for the entire trip; room to stretch.

A few seconds later, I was wiping Mrs. TBF's lipstick from my lips as I walked back toward the car. I suddenly became very focused...

I had a lot of work ahead of me!


The DP said...

I learned train war tactics in the nastiest of all trenches (in Europe anyway)- Paris la Defense at rush hour. Those rich executives are shameless.
Now, with the polite Swiss, the nastiest train wars I have seen are the lovely Lausanne-Geneva commuters. Child's play. I get a seat, facing forward, in second class, every time. I may be sitting next to an ass or near someone who smells, but I always sit. I should write a book on it.

Bobby The C said...

It is a shame you wiped it from your lips instead of somewhere else!

Kirk said...

I love Singapore Air, but I felt like every time we woke up there was a smiling flight attendant hovering over us with a refreshing towel. On the one hand we felt quite pampered but on the other hand there was something vaguely creepy about it.