Many (un)Happy Returns...

I met with the accountants this afternoon - one for the Swiss taxes, and one for the U.S. taxes. With my satchel containing perfectly organized tax records in one hand, and my laptop in the other, I jumped on the 12:41 tram that whisked me to my 1 p.m. tax meeting at "Big Worldwide Accounting Firm". I actually felt kind of like a businessman.

Brrrrrrr...scary!

These were "new" accountants. I say "new" because this particular firm won the bid to handle the tax work for Mrs. TBF's employer, and this was my first time meeting with these people. I might add that this is the third firm doing our taxes in 7.5 years we've lived here.

I won't say which firm it is, but it doesn't really matter because they're all pretty much the same anyway. By the same, I mean that they all pretty much expect you to download their planner off their website so that you can fill in all the blanks with your information (thus, doing most of the work for them). Then they transmit the information to data processing centers in India to take advantage of cheap labor, but don't pass on any of the labor savings to you/your company because they need to make a lot of money so that they can continue donating money (via their Political Action Committees) to U.S. politicians' campaign funds so that the politicians won't pass laws that change the extremely complicated tax laws that make it virtually impossible for U.S. people working abroad to do their own taxes.

Don't believe me? Well, then just go ahead and Google search any major accounting firm's name along with "political action committee" or "PAC" and you'll see all the money that accounting firms donate to senators and congressmen every year.

Then, one of my favorite parts of the annual tax filing dance is that when the returns are done, the firms completely release themselves of liability by stating that we have to double-check the returns for errors, and that we are responsible for the accuracy of the returns. Oh, and did I mention that none of the firms really agree with how the previous firm has done the taxes? That's another good one!

IT'S A BIG SHELL-GAME, I TELL YA!!!

So, anyway, I arrived at the accounting office at 12:55, was escorted about five minutes later into a big conference room with the two accountants, and proceeded to turn on my laptop and lay out my "business" papers that were all labeled and separated by binder clips.

Did I fill out the planner? Noooooooooooooooo! I never do. I mean, come on! They're getting paid thousands of francs for what? Me to hand them a few sheets of paper with all the info? I...don't...think...so! I made them go through everything one by one...handing binder clipped and labeled pieces of paper every step of the way. Then, I asked them several questions (to which I already knew the answers) just to make them earn the money a bit while I drank one of their bottles of fizzy water. By 2:30, I had run out of fake questions and wasn't thirsty anymore, so I just thanked them and left.

Let me point out that I have nothing against the accountants. As a matter of fact, I liked them; they were very nice, seemingly competent people. However, I just think it's a big exercise in futility. For the past couple of years, we've jumped through these hoops, paid our Swiss taxes, had our foreign tax credits applied, and then owed...ZERO dollars in U.S. taxes. That's right! $0.00!!!

Oops...I hope I didn't just jinx us for this year.

Wouldn't it be easier (and cheaper) just to make it so that Americans don't have to pay U.S. taxes when they're working abroad? Just have us fill out a form that says we're working abroad and send it to the I.R.S. with a big $0.00 at the bottom. Heck, we wouldn't even need an accounting firm to do that.

Maybe that's just the point...

I Can Read, Me...

The Economist
February 23rd - 29th 2008

From the article: The End Draws Nigh

Mr. Obama held onto his core constituencies (blacks, young people and affluent liberals) but made striking advances into Mrs Clinton's. He beat her among the Dunkin' Donuts crowd - people who earn less than $50,000 a year and lack a college education [boldface mine].

Wha' da????

I've never been so insulted in my whole life!

Friday Flashback: Big, Burly, Liechtensteiner Beard

Earlier in the week, I read a blurb in the Chicago Tribune about how "big burly beards" are back in style. Don't believe me? Here's a video:



Later that same day, I happened upon some photos that were taken during a day trip to Liechtenstein on January 26, 2002 (Geez! Has it really been over six years???). At the time, I was the proud owner of my very own BIG, burly beard.

Anyway, I started thinking...

Seeing how big, burly beards are back in style, maybe I should take a few months and grow back another BBB. If I start today, I'll have a really "nice" BBB by the end of May. Hell! Come to think of it, I haven't shaved all week so I already have a head start - the BBB would be in full glory by mid-May. What do YOU think?

Oh, Happy Day!

Believe it or not, but I am actually reading a book!

OK...I'll give you a couple of seconds to get over the shock.

.....

.....

OK?

OK! It's not like I don't ever read. Actually, I read a lot! However, I normally bury my nose in magazines, and I don't really make time to read books. Besides, I have a subscription to The Economist, and that magazine takes pretty much a whole week to read on its own.

So, back to the book...

I'm currently reading a book called The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. Oddly enough, I read a review of this book in The Economist while I was flying to Chicago last month, and I decided to pick up a copy at the Barnes and Noble close to my sister's house.

I just started the book yesterday (I'm only on page 54), but I've already read the chapter on Switzerland which - surprisingly to me, anyway - just happens to have one of the happiest populations in the world.

Huh?

I was shocked. After seven years, I must say that I've never really thought of the Swiss as being an extraordinarily "happy" people. But, the chapter (Switzerland - Happiness Is Boredom) was very insightful. Here is one of my favorite excerpts:

Everyone is surprised that my research has taken me to Switzerland. The Swiss happy? There must be some mistake...I take an informal poll around the table. Overall, how happy are you these days? The results are in: solid eights and nines all around, and a seven from the American. The Swiss at the table look surprised, as if they're thinking, "Hmmm. Maybe we are happy. Who knew?"
"So, now that we've determined you are indeed happy, what is the source of Swiss happiness?" I ask.
"Cleanliness," says Dieter. "Have you seen our public toilets? They are very clean." At first, I think he's joking but quickly rule out that possibility, since the Swiss do not joke. About anything. Ever...

The Swiss have done for boredom what the French did for wine and the Germans for beer: perfected it, mass-produced it...

Not only boring but humorless. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Swiss humor operates at an entirely different frequency, undetectable to my non-Swiss ears. And so, with this open-minded attitude, I ask Dieter - diplomatically, of course - if it's true that the Swiss have no sense of humor.
"Define sense of humor," he responds instantly, thus sealing the case....

The Swiss live attenuated lives. They hum along, satisfied, never dipping below a certain floor but never touching the ceiling, either. A Swiss would never describe something as awesome or super, but only c'est pas mal, not bad. Is that the secret to happiness, a life that is c'est pas mal? Or perhaps the Swiss really do find many aspects of life awesome but know on some subconscious level that such superlatives diminish the experience. Describe something as awesome, and it ceases to be so.
Happiness researchers have found that, from a statistical point of view, the Swiss are on to something. Better to live in this middle range than to constantly swing between great highs and terrible lows.

I think I'm going to be VERY happy today...

...because I'm feeling VERY bored.

Say Hello To My Little Friend...

Our friend, The Sour Kraut - graphic artist extraordinaire - designed this logo for me last August. For a number of reasons (kept putting it off until "tomorrow", couldn't figure out how to load a PDF file into iPhoto and Blogger, just kept forgetting, etc.), I didn't get around to putting it on the blog until...um...right now.

I'd like to put it up in the header of the blog, but I have no idea how this is done? Could somebody who knows how to do this (perhaps Canadian-Swiss) give me a few tips? I guess I could just start trying to edit my template, but I'm afraid of screwing things up beyond repair.

It's Almost Over!

If you're looking for pictures from this year's Basel Fasnacht, then you've come to the WRONG place. I've managed to nearly completely avoid the annual Fasnacht festivities. I say nearly because I did: see people on the tram dressed in their costumes, hear drums and fifes over my blasting iPod as I quickly made my way from the gym to the tram, trudge through confetti pretty much everywhere I walked.

While I respect the tradition of the Fasnacht, I have to say that I find the music to be incredibly grating; fifes and drums just don't do it for me. Also, the confetti that is thrown from the floats - eventually finding its way into every bodily orifice - is a major source of annoyance. I've been to Fasnacht three times, and if I never go again it'll be fine with me.

NOTE TO SELF: From now on, go to Chicago during Fastnach week to avoid the whole thing.

OK, so I'm a party-pooper. Big deal!

You know what? That was pretty negative, wasn't it?

Let me try to balance out all the negativity by saying that the weather here has been absolutely FANTASTIC the past few days. It's been 10˚C/50˚F and sunny for the past several days, and it appears that we're in for more of the same at least through Saturday.

I guess it's not all bad, now is it?

Life Is Good!

Marktplatz
Basel, Switzerland
Saturday, February 9, 2008
12:25 p.m.

A blue sky...

A hot dog...

Life is good!

Thanks For The Warning!

I bought us a new toaster on Friday.

There was nothing wrong with the old one, but I just felt like getting a new one.

We also bought a new kettle. Again, nothing wrong with the old one.

You see, we had built up about a zillion Super Points at our local Coop grocery store, and I was able to buy the toaster and kettle (already bought a new blender a couple of months ago) at significantly discounted prices.

As I see it: the discount brought the price down to only about 50% more than the stuff would cost in America!

Speaking of America...

The fine people at Kuhn Rikon (the manufacturer) obviously have America in mind as a potential market for their fine appliances.

Why else would they have put this ridiculous warning on top of the toaster? Just to be safe, I left it out on display all weekend.

I'm happy to report that Mrs. TBF made toast this morning, and she didn't burn herself!

Let's hope I remember not to put my fingers inside the toaster.

Your Money Is No Good Here!

My parents didn't actually say that while I was visiting them, but I kind of acted as if they did. In hindsight, I have to admit that I really didn't make much of an attempt at all to reach for the money clip while I was visiting the folks. Well, I guess I did reach for it when I saw a shirt I liked in a store window, and...a belt at the Lucky store (both in West Palm Beach).

JEEZ! What a bad son I am - I made my mom carry my stuff, and I didn't pay for anything during my visit!!! OK, I guess I bought a couple of Starbucks coffees and a Danish or two, but...that was about it. When it came time to eat meals, my pockets were suddenly, magically sewn shut.

But, I guess my parents didn't really seem too concerned about my freeloading. I mean, they looked pretty happy to me.

Mom To The Rescue!

Mrs. TBF had bidness to attend to last week while we were both in the U.S., so it was just me in Florida with the folks from Sunday night to Wednesday morning.

While I was there, I started to get an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach when it dawned on me that Mrs. TBF wasn't there to carry my stuff. I mentioned this dilemma to my mom, and (exactly as hoped) she very graciously volunteered to be my P.S.C.H (personal sunglasses case holder).

Thanks, mom!

SUCCESS!!!

The transfer of all the info from our old Mac to our new MacBook Pro took place without a hitch, and now we're off and running. Well, almost without a hitch... At first, our iTunes didn't load up into the new one, but a quick software update (Already? I just bought the thing last week!) followed by a restart, and we we were REALLY off and running.

As you can see from the artistically blurry picture, our old laptop had developed a bunch of lines in the screen that were beginning to become a bit annoying. So, 'annoying lines' was as good excuse as any to buy a new one. This time, I opted for the smaller screen because the 17" screen was both unnecessary AND a bit of a hassle when traveling.

We'll continue using the old one until it conks out, and then we'll replace it with the new MacBook Air so that we can be total computer geeks by being online at the same time e-mailing each other even though we're sitting right next to each other on the sofa. That'll be even geekier than when I noticed my S.I.L. and B.I.L. speaking to each other last week on their cellphones even though they were both inside the same house.

Tonight, we set up Mrs. TBF's new iPod Touch - which I noticed is already out of date (...bought the thing less than a week ago for chrissake!) because Apple just announced the new 32GB model (we bought the 16GB model) today!

I could just sit here and play with this thing all day...

...ummm...

Shouldn't I be at the gym?

Gotta go...

It's Official...

I'm jet lagged...in a serious way.

I woke up at 11:18 this morning - which is ridiculous considering that I went to bed at a little past midnight. At 3:00, I suddenly woke up and stayed awake for about an hour. Then, Mrs. TBF did wake me up when she was leaving for work this morning - I remember that, at least - but I apparently decided that a little more (a few hours!) shuteye was needed.

My plans of going to the gym at 10:30 have been dashed. I guess I'll just go at 2:30 instead to avoid the lunchtime crunch.

Must...get...back...on...track!

What will tonight bring?

...stay tuned.

TBF Alarm!

As I said before, we arrived in Chicago on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday morning, I woke up at 3:20 a.m. - I'm not really sure why, but it seems that I always wake up at the exact same time my first morning in Chicago. I tried to fall back to sleep, but I knew after fifteen minutes of lying in bed wide-awake that it was hopeless. So, I just got up, made myself some coffee, and read until about 6:00 a.m. At 6:00, I was tired of drinking coffee and reading magazines, so I woke up Mrs. TBF and we went to the grocery store to buy a few essentials like bacon and Fritos.

By the way...I made Mrs. TBF drive so that she could get in some practice!

We got to the store at around 7:00 a.m. The first thing we did was buy a couple of coffees at the in-store Starbucks from a lady who seemed to have already had about fifteen cups herself. Then, we proceeded to walk through every aisle of the store just looking at the multitude of "low trans fat" products and products containing "antioxidants". Who knew that you could buy Coca Cola with either vitamins or anti-oxidants? Wait a second...

Doesn't caffeine impede the absorption of vitamins?

...thought so.

I immediately realized I was going to have a problem when Mrs. TBF said that she wanted to push the shopping cart. You see, the problem was that Mrs. TBF was going to be pushing the cart with one hand and holding her coffee in the other. As you may recall, I don't really like having to carry my own stuff so I was kind of getting myself psyched up to carry that hot cup of coffee myself when I noticed that (luckily!) our shopping cart had a special Starbucks cup holder.

I'm not sure how I would have coped without it!

Two Seasons...

...for the price of one.

We're all clean and safe here in Basel after our (too short) week in the U.S. I'm happy to be back to see King and our friends, but I would gladly have spent another week in Chicago. But no worries, 'cause I'll be back in Chicago in 71 days.

This trip was very unique for me because I took a side-trip to Florida during the week to visit my folks at their winter condo. As far as I can remember, it's the first time in my life that I ever experienced this and this in the same week during the month of January.

While I was in Florida, the sun was shining with highs in the upper 70s (25˚C). I wore shorts, a short-sleeved shirt, and flip flops...when I wasn't wearing a bathing suit and swimming in the pool. When I returned to Chicago on Wednesday morning, the temperature was 0˚ (-18˚C) and the snot inside my nose was freezing up each time I inhaled. The next day, Chicago got dumped with 12" of snow.

Maybe it's just me getting older, but I found wintertime Florida to be extremely appealing. But...I also found a certain appeal to driving around Chicago in 12" of snow and sliding all over the place.

Hmmm...which to choose?

Friday Flashback: Sky King

We're going to have an early start tomorrow morning; 4:30 a.m. wake up, 5:30 a.m. taxi to the airport, 6:45 a.m. flight to London, and then an 11:35 a.m. (London time) flight to Chicago.

I love flying to Chicago. Actually, I love flying...period! Sure, I love going to see friends and family, eating all the food I miss eating on a regular basis, and just getting a grand old dose of all things Americana. But the thing I like most about flying is that once you're up in the air...it's always sunny. Yes, it's gray and dreary here in Basel today, but tomorrow at this time I'll be seeing nothing but clear blue skies and sunshine (if I'm not asleep).

In honor of tomorrow's flight, I dug deep through the photo albums to pull out this photo from the day - 7.5 years ago - when Mrs. TBF left for Switzerland. I stayed behind (with the pets) to finish working, sell the house, etc. At one point, we walked into our old bedroom and King was relaxing in one of Mrs. TBF's suitcases. Apparently, he didn't want to wait to head to Switzerland for his twilight years (that never seem to end!).

We learned from that experience; we no longer leave open suitcases on the floor. I guess another thing I like about Chicago is walking around wearing clothes that don't have cat hair on 'em.

Nice And Calm...

Very, VERY calm!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

"Fed cuts rates 75 basis points in emergency move...biggest single cut since October 1984..."

"Bear market looms..."

"U.S. economomy...is on the verge of recession."

"Tokyo falls 6%, Hong Kong 9% as rout continues..."

"Appreciable downside risks to growth remain..."

"Dow Jones opens down by more than 460 points..."


I think I'll go feed King...

...and then take a nap.

Almost Fiddy!

I noticed on my calendar that today is our sister-in-law's birthday. This picture was taken last year when we were in Chicago and she wasn't quite as close to "fiddy" as she is today.

We watched the Bears win the NFC Championship, and my s-i-l was a regular reader of The Big Finn's Big Blog.

What a difference a year makes.

Less Than A Year To Go...

Mrs. TBF moved to Switzerland in July, 2000.

I joined her on October 6, 2000.

One month later, GBII was elected(?).

We've been saying for some time now that our goal is to live outside the U.S. for the entire Bush presidency.

Unless something unexpected happens, we'll be living here for AT LEAST this much longer; realizing our goal.

I guess I should try to think of something positive to say...

...

...

...

...ummm...

...

He reduced the amount of U.S. taxes Mrs. TBF and I owed over the past seven years.

...

Thanks.

U.S. Shopping List...

We will be leaving for Chicago this coming Saturday. It's been four months since I was last there, and I'm really looking forward to going back.

I need a Chicago fix at least three times per year in order to maintain my sanity.

This trip will be a little different from past trips because I'll actually interrupt the Chicago feedbag and visiting of family and friends by taking a quick trip down to my parents' winter-home in Florida. Yes, the packing list will be complicated slightly because I'll have to throw in a pair of shorts, a couple of light shirts, a bathing suit, and some flip-flops along with the arctic-cold survival gear that's required in Chicago at this time of year, but I think I'll manage - somehow.

Of course, we'll also bring along a couple of extra suitcases so that we can haul some stuff back to Switzerland. Not much stuff, mind you, but a few of the things that we find that we can't live without. For example:

binder clips - hard to find here, and one costs the same as about fifty cost in Chicago. These are needed for maintaining my extremely anal-retentive filing system.

Crest toothpaste - not sold here, and it's one of the few must-have things I always bring back from the U.S.

Sweet 'N Low - not sold here, and I like it because no other sweetener makes my coffee as sweet as Sweet 'N Low. Also, the sweetener here is called Assugrin, and it always makes me think of "ass surgeon" when I see it, and that definitely lessens my coffee drinking enjoyment.

Eucerin - I need my big tub of Eucerin hand lotion. I glob it on my hands right before I go to bed, put on my cotton sleeping gloves, and in the morning I have soft hands that adequately represent my lifestyle completely devoid of hard physical labor.

Vitamin E (400 I.U.) and Vitamin C (500 mg) - I can buy vitamins here, but they are ridiculously expensive. Seriously, a jug from Costo containing 500 tablets costs about the same as a container containing 30 costs here.

Target multi-symptom, night time, cold/flu relief (cherry flavor) - I look forward to colds (have one right now...YES!) just so I can drink this stuff. Just two tablespoons (ok, maybe a little bit more) before going to bed puts me into a coma for hours. Plus, the stuff just tastes so damn good! Mrs. TBF thinks I'm addicted. However, I'm not. No...my tongue is not unusually red!

Shake 'n' Bake - I've never brought this back from the U.S. before, but I've just been craving some Shake 'n' Bake lately. Do they still sell the stuff?

Aveda hair care products - There is a new Aveda store in Basel (stopped by there with Mrs. TBF for the first time this weekend to check it out), but the products Mrs. TBF uses (Be Curly and Sap Moss...whatever the hell that is) are more than double the price of the same products in the U.S. However, I did notice that the "Pure Male Lunch Break" (facial and manicure) was fairly reasonably priced at our local spa, so maybe I'll have to head in there for a little "maintenance" in the not-too-distant future.

Ban deodorant - After years of listening to my mom tell us that Ban is the greatest deodorant ever created, Mrs. TBF finally decided to try it a few years back, and...she now agrees. Ban is now a permanent fixture on the U.S. Shopping List. My deodorant crystal continues to serve me well, so no deodorant for me.

Oh....and I almost forgot!

Mrs. TBF also wants an iPod touch, and I'm gonna buy me a new MacBook Pro.

Who knows? Now that house prices are falling in the U.S. (down 5% from last year and expected, by some "experts" to go down as much as 20%!) and the value of the dollar keeps dropping, maybe we'll buy a house too! Nahhh, just kidding! But I did check this past weekend, and one Swiss franc was worth 91 cents. When we moved here in 2000, the Swiss franc was worth only 57 cents - a difference of 60%.

Hmmmm...maybe we will buy a house.

Now...where's that big jar of loose change?

Friday Flashback: Box Of Random Photos Edition...

I rediscovered a box of random photos this week. Actually, I'm not really sure why these photos aren't in one of our many photo albums, but...whatever. Suddenly, while looking through the photos, it suddenly dawned on me that I was in possession of a treasure-trove of Friday Flashback material.

How lucky!

This past week was a "car" week for me. First, I had to book a Mobility car for only the second time since we sold our car three months ago in order to bring King to the vet. Then, the next day we received a letter from our insurance company regarding the refund of our car insurance for the period from October 15 - December 31st. And last but not least - I finally canceled our parking spot contract.

And why did I wait three months to finally cancel our parking spot, you ask?

Here's the reason why: LAZINESS!!!

First of all, let me say that we have to give three months' notice in order to cancel our parking spot (that's Switzerland for you!). Seeing that we sold the car right before going to Japan, I couldn't really be bothered with writing a short letter in German and sending it to our landlord, so I just put it off until November. Then November came around before I knew it and I came up with the excuse that we would just keep the parking spot during the cold winter months so that our friends could park in our building rather than having to park in the street when coming to visit us. Although it appears like I was being a good friend, the truth of the matter is that I was just being lazy, and didn't feel like spending the five minutes to type a short letter in German.

You see how little things become BIG things when one doesn't work?

After returning from Paris on Christmas Day, I decided to finally take the bull by the horns and I sat down and spent the five minutes typing the letter. Unfortunately, it was at this point that I also looked our parking contract over and realized that one of the first lines states that we are prohibited from canceling the contract during the month of December (rules...RULES!!!!). So, I put it off until January...

Finally, this week, I brought the letter to the landlord's office. Yes, I could have mailed it, but as punishment for my laziness I decided that I would go in person and hand deliver the stinkin' thing. And, that's what I did.

"Cancel parking contract" has now been crossed off of my (very short) Things To Do list. After April 30th, friends, you're all going to be parking in the street!

How fitting then that I discovered this picture in the box of random photos. I'm not really sure when it was taken - maybe 2001 or 2002. Perry and Renee (the bro- and sis-in-law) had been in Basel for a visit, but it was time to head back to Chicago and the suitcases were packed in the back of the old Jeep waiting for all to be chauffeured back to Zürich Airport.

Right before leaving, they asked Mrs. TBF to snap a photo of them posing in front of the Jeep looking all sad about the fact that their vacation was nearing its end. Naturally, recognizing the potential for photographic gold when I saw it (sorry, folks...it's instinct and it can't be taught), I jumped into the photo a split second before the shutter clicked after mustering up my best look of euphoria about the fact that they were (finally) leaving!

I guess it's not too far off the look I had when I sold the Jeep.

The Pot Calling The Kettle Black...

Before this morning it had been 53 days since I had last driven a car.

I had to bring King to the vet this morning for a follow-up blood test to make sure that he's getting the right amount of thyroid medication. The last time I drove was the previous time I brought him to the vet - November 23rd.

After the last vet visit, Mrs. TBF told me that she thought I should book the Mobility car every other week, or so, so that my driving doesn't "...get rusty."

Yes, I believe...no, I'm CERTAIN those were her exact words.

"Wait. You mean, like, to practice driving?" was my startled response. I pretty much just agreed with her, glazed over, and then...proceeded to completely dismiss her advice as something one would say to a retarded person.

I'm happy to report that the fifteen kilometers of driving I did this morning went completely without incident. No accidents and no King pooping in his crate fiascoes like last time. Not even anything remotely resembling a close call.

I got to thinking yesterday about the not-getting-rusty comment, and the more I thought about it...the more annoyed I became. No, I didn't make a big deal about it, but I did manage to very casually drop in a "...when was the last time YOU drove a car?" during dinner last night, and it turns out that Mrs. TBF hasn't driven a car since she drove a rental car during a business trip back in November; something like 103 days ago!!! And no, I made no "rusty" comments of my own - although I'm sure I could have come up with a real zinger.

But hey, no worries, Mrs. TBF. I'm minutes away from booking a rental car for when we're in Chicago in a couple of weeks so that I can get in some driving practice. Wouldn't want to get rusty, now would I?

Sheesh...

The nerve of some people!

Caught My Eye...

Mrs. TBF and I were out for a walk about a week ago when we came across this nameplate on a parking spot outside an office building.

Sure it's childish humor, but I don't care. I found the name so funny (so did Mrs. TBF) that when we went for a walk yesterday afternoon I insisted on going the same route as one week earlier so that I could bring the camera along and snap a picture to share with you all.

Will I ever grow up?

Hooters...And Beavers...And Bears...

...oh my!

One of the most common ways that people find my blog is by doing a search for "Weight Watchers points for Hooters wings" or something of that sort. I'm not totally sure why, but I'm guessing that I've written about Weight Watchers and Hooters on at least a few occasions. Last night, for some reason, I was in a people-helping-people mood, so I whipped out the old Weight Watchers Complete Food Companion to see if I could help out these so-called dieters who are unable to come to grips with reality by continuing to believe that Hooters wings can be part of a weight loss program.

I couldn't find Hooters wings (no big surprise there), but I did manage to find Buffalo wings cooked, 3 (4.5 ounces) coming in at a whopping 9 points!!! Seeing that Hooters wings are absolutely LOADED with butter and sugar (just do a Google search for "Hooters wings secret recipe"), I'm going to say that three Hooters wings come in at 10 points. There you have it, people. According to TBF:

..........3 HOOTERS WINGS = 10 WEIGHT WATCHERS POINTS..........

For those of you who have never followed the Weight Watchers diet, let me try to put things into perspective...

I am 6'5" tall, and I weigh about 215 lbs. (about 98 kilos). During the week, I count all our points (I don't count points during the weekend) and I stick to 25 points per day. That means that three Hooters wings would equal more than one-third of my total daily food consumption from Monday to Friday. YIKES!! What's worse is that I remember going to Hooters with two co-workers back in the 90s, and the three of us would split a tray of fifty wings. Usually there would only be about five wings leftover, so that means that I probably ate at least 15 wings in one sitting - 50 points; two days worth of caloric intake for me these days. DOUBLE YIKES!!!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

Forget about eating Hooters wings when you're trying to lose weight on the Weight Watchers diet. You know you can't just eat three of those things, so you're better off just staying away from the place until you've reached your weight loss goal.

HOWEVER...

While I was looking up Buffalo wings, I did notice two pages earlier that Weight Watchers has a listing for Beaver, cooked 1 oz.......1 point.

Beaver?

BEAVER?!?!?!?

Then I noticed on the same page that they have a listing for Bear, cooked 1 oz......1 point. That didn't freak me out as much because I know people who hunt bear and eat the meat.

But...beaver?

BEAVER?!?!?!?

Just out of curiosity, I then looked up, and found, Goat, cooked 1 oz.....1 point, and Horse, cooked 1 oz......1 point.

Strangely enough, there was no listing for donkey. Oh, my mistake...I'd have to look in the French edition of the book to find that one.

So there you have it folks, skip the Hooters wings and dig into the bear, goat, horse, and...beaver.

Beaver??

BEAVER?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Epiphany...

The Christmas season is officially over!!!

No more decorations!!! No more Christmas music!!! Stop buying wooden toys and ornaments that you think are better than non-wooden toys that...were made in China!!! Immediately!!!

Yesterday was Epiphany (a.k.a Three Kings Day). Do you know how I know? I asked Mrs. TBF, of course.

TBF: (yesterday) Isn't today the last day to turn on the Christmas lights? What's it called?

Mrs. TBF: Three Kings Day!

TBF: Oh.

As you can probably tell, I'm not the most religious person in world by any means, so I had to rely on Mrs. TBF for the info. Her mom will be happy to know that all those years of private Catholic education didn't go to waste. I even went so far as to Google "Three Kings Day" because I thought I remembered that it was called something else. Ah yes...Epiphany!

Now I know!

We actually took down the Christmas tree on New Year's Day. It was cut into small pieces and put into our rooftop storage room where it is waiting to be burned in the rooftop fireplace as soon as the weather gets a little better. Also on New Year's Day, we took down all the Christmas decorations and boxed them up. All the Christmas decorations, that is, but one. Yes, we left up our little Christmas tree light that hangs on one of our windows so that we could have just the tiniest bit of Christmas cheer until Three Kings Day.

Yesterday: Three Kings Day. The Christmas tree light was shining in all its glory.

Today: the little Christmas tree light is in its box where it will be until late-November.

Yes, Christmas is officially over. However, I'll leave you with one more Christmas image that will, hopefully, carry you through until Christmas 2008...

King was so inspired by the little Christmas tree light, that he decided to create his own little version. His canvas: the litter box. His medium: cat pee.

Behold, the cat pee Christmas tree.

Let me just say....before you decide to make the pilgrimage to our apartment to view the sacred cat pee Christmas tree...

Stay at home! I already threw it out!

Before I Officially Close The Christmas Season...

...let me post a few more pictures from Paris.

Here's the "mandatory" Eiffel Tower picture I took at sunset while we were on the big ferris wheel that's erected every year (I think) at Christmas time. Us going on the ferris wheel is a classic example of the kind of thing we do when we wander around Paris with no plan whatsoever.

we walk...

we point...

we go!

A nice self-portrait taken in the lounge of our hotel while enjoying a cocktail before going out for dinner. Please note the placement of the gin and tonic (with a grapefruit peel...recommended!) that conveniently hides my expanding Christmas love handle.

On the way back from dinner, I scoffed at danger by plopping my camera on top of a short traffic signal in the middle of the Champs-Élysées, set the timer, and...voila!

...at La Défense.

Since it was Christmastime, we thought we should try to hit at least a couple of Christmas markets. We read that there was one at La Défense, so we jumped on the Metro at George V and jumped off a few stops later. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of Christmas markets - I kind of view them as one step above flea markets (which I despise) - but I figured that maybe I'd be able to land something weird like Christmas ornaments made out of French fries, a stocking hat made to look like a baguette, or something else of that ilk, so off we went. And, the verdict?

The La Défense Christmas market has to be the worst Christmas market I've ever seen. Yes, as I said, I don't really like Christmas markets, but I have been to quite a few. So, you can feel confident that I'm speaking from experience. Yes, the food appeared to be very good. Unfortunately, we couldn't eat any because we were so full from breakfast. No, the food wasn't the problem. The problem was that...

...the market appeared to not be selling anything that pertained to Christmas!!!

I think I saw maybe two stands out of 100 selling Christmas ornaments. The other stands just sold the craziest stuff. For example: if you were in the market for a samurai sword, then you were in the right place. Need a hookah pipe? No problem...there were many styles to choose from.

We did manage to buy a couple of wooden games (i.e. Jenga), because giving toys made of wood as gifts seems to be de rigueur these days for reasons I have yet to figure out, but that was about it. Fortunately, the weather was beautiful, so just walking around in the bright sunshine was enjoyable enough in itself. Plus, the fact that the market was so bad meant that we didn't need to hang around for more than 45 minutes before heading off to do bigger and better things like...

...a Seine river cruise. Finally!!!

Listen!

Here's what I'm listening to these days:

Radiohead: In Rainbows

This is Radiohead's seventh album which now qualifies them (must have at least seven studio albums...one for each day) for an artist/group whose catalog I would want to have along with me if I just happened to be stranded on a desert island...with electricity (or at least a solar panel) so I could charge up the iPod. Rush and Yes are two other obvious choices for me, but I'm having trouble picking the other two to round out my top five. Pink Floyd? Genesis? U2? Kate Bush? Led Zeppelin?

Who would you choose for your top five?





Kate Nash: "Made of Bricks"

For whatever reason, this album was released in the U.K. and Canada this past August, but it won't be released in the U.S. until next week. I like her quirkiness and her London accent, but she probably won't be popular in the U.S. due to...her quirkiness and London accent.

Wankers!

Go to iTunes when it's released next week and give it a listen. Oh, and tell Steve Jobs I said hello!

A Thing Of The Past...

There's a new smoking ban in France. Yes, believe it or not, France is on the road to becoming smoke-free.

I don't smoke cigarettes - although I do puff on the occasional cigar (sorry, dad!) - but I'm kind of sad that the smoke-filled Parisian cafe looks to be a thing of the past.

I'm guessing that a big chunk of French people are going to be overweight in five years. But hey...at least they'll have clean lungs...and our clothes - and Mrs. TBF's hair - won't smell like smoke.

Hmmmmmm.....

On second thought, I'll just look at the picture from time to time.

Fat And Happy...

Happy New Year, everybody!!!

After a self-imposed two-week blogging hiatus (hands were too busy picking up forks, knives, and glasses), I'm ready to get back into the blogging saddle once again.

As we expected, Paris at Christmas was great. We ate a lot of great food (too much), walked for mile upon mile in bright sunshine trying to burn off the calories, and left stores with big smiles on our faces after giving the old credit cards a workout.

We're both a little heavier (not too bad) than we were a couple of weeks ago, but we're happy...VERY happy.

...not a bad way to start off 2008.

Joyeux Noël

We're off to Paris tomorrow, and we won't be back in Basel until Christmas Day.

Until then...

Joyeux Noël to all, and to all, a good night!

I'm Dreaming...

...of an ORANGE Christmas.

Last year, I made the executive decision to throw out all our Christmas lights. They had been through seven Christmases, and I decided that we were beginning to press our luck. Believe me, the last thing I (or ESPECIALLY Mrs. TBF) would want would be for a strand of lights to go out on the tree after the thing was covered in a tangle of lights and ornaments. I decided to eliminate the potential of anything triggering one of my infamous yuletide cussfests (so far, none this year), so I threw out the lights - ALL of 'em.

Zip ahead to this year...

It was when I was unpacking all our decorations that I noticed that we no longer had lights for the tree. An ember of memory from last year was still glowing somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain, and I realized that I was going to have to go out and buy new lights.

You know what? Christmas lights are expensive in Switzerland. A fifty meter (a little over 150') strand cost about CHF 100. That's equivalent to about 90 dollars in the U.S. at today's exchange rate. But don't blink, the way the dollar is going, it'll probably be equal to about $120 by the time the holidays are over!

The main issue, however, wasn't the money. NO! The big question was what kind of lights to buy.

Mrs. TBF grew up with all white lights on her Christmas trees...

I grew up with lights of mixed colors...

Mrs. TBF told me to get whatever I wanted...

I...bought...ORANGE LIGHTS!!!

Orange just happens to be my favorite color.

I like!

Something In Common...

Q: What do Leonid Brezhnev and Mrs. TBF have in common?

A: They were both born on December 19th.

What did I get the woman who wants for nothing? Nothing, of course! However, all is not lost because we will be having a rare weekday lunch together. I'm actually going to take the tram all the way to her office so that we can ride the tram together back to the restaurant. Isn't extra time together one of the best gifts you can share with somebody you love?

Geez, that's a lot of pressure. I'd better go shower and shave!

Riding the tram all the way to Mrs. TBF's office and back into town?

Showering?

Shaving?

Maybe next year I'll just buy her a new watch or something.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HON'!

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep...

I'm not really sure why, but I woke up at 4:30 this morning (after going to bed at 12:15 a.m.), and I felt completely rested. I tried staying in bed until 5:30 to see if I'd fall back to sleep, but nothing doing. Maybe I'm just excited about our upcoming trip to Paris. Who knows?

In complete contrast to this morning, I had the opposite problem last Saturday night/Sunday morning - I couldn't stay awake...

Last weekend was a rare "just the three of us" weekend and Mrs. TBF said she'd cook whatever I wanted for dinner. My Saturday request was Japanese. More specifically, sushi and sukiyaki.

I'm not really sure what she put in that sukiyaki, but almost immediately after dinner (about 9:45), I hauled my bloated belly over to the sofa where I found myself getting verrrrrrry sleepy. I think it was something like 10 p.m. when Mrs. TBF gave up trying to talk to me and just went into our TV room where she watched TV until about midnight. At midnight, she woke me up to tell me that she was going to bed.

I somehow managed to stumble to the bathroom, pee, brush my teeth, go through my entire skincare regimen, and plop in the little thingamajiggy that keeps me from clenching my teeth. At least I think I did all those things - my memory is kind of hazy. I also managed to put moisturizer on my hands AND put on my sleeping gloves. Then, I slept until 10 a.m. That's right...a total of TWELVE HOURS OF SLEEP!!!

Oh, and YES...I wear gloves when I sleep so that my hands are nice and soft when I wake up. The gloves are pink and have little ruffles on the wrists. What about it?

The next night, it was King's turn to have sleep issues...

On Sunday evening, we used (for the first time) a cookbook that was a gift from the Ex-Expatters and made a delicious oxtail and tongue stew. Yeah, the beef tongue looks kind of disgusting, but believe me, it's tastes REALLY good. When we sat down to eat, King would not leave us alone, so I gave him a piece of oxtail and a piece of tongue. It turned out that he liked it so much that he just kept begging for more.

I guess I fed him too much tongue.

Let's just say that King had litter box issues on Sunday night. He'd use his box and then run around the apartment howling. Then, he'd beat up on one of his toys for awhile, carry it around, and howl some more. This went on all night. I'm not kidding, the beast must have woken us up ten times.

So, my sleep recap for those of you keeping score at home:

Saturday night - abnormal

Sunday night - abnormal

Monday night - normal

Tuesday night - abnormal

I've been noticing lately that I often wake up between 4 and 5 a.m., although I normally fall back to sleep after about ten minutes.

Is this a sign of old age?

Strapping On The Weekend Feed Bag!

A quick trip to the grocery store in France this morning resulted in a shopping bag containing (among other things) some oysters, a couple of veal kidneys, and a pig's foot (trotter...or, TRAW-tah...as our British friends call it).

Escargots and bone marrows will soon be coming out of the freezer.

Sushi-grade fish, beef tongue, and an ox tail are currently on the shopping list, and they'll be purchased tomorrow morning.

It's going to be a GREAT eatin' weekend!

Nice To Hear You! Nice To Meat You!

I've begun listening online, once again, to my favorite Chicago radio personality of all-time: Steve Dahl. I think I began listening to him in 1978.

Recently, he switched to a new radio station, AND he switched to the 5:30 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. (Chicago time) time slot. What that means is that I can now listen to him LIVE here in Switzerland from 12:30 p.m. to 5:00 p.m., Monday - Friday.

Yesterday, right before the end of his show, I heard him read a commercial for Allen Brothers Steaks. Of course, I think that the gift of meat is one of the best gifts there is, so I just had to go to their website to check it out.

OH...MY...GOD!

Now that I'm thinking about the gift of meat...

Within our immediate families, we always buy gifts for each other on the 5-year birthdays and anniversaries. Just in case certain relatives are still trying to decide what to buy me for my 45th birthday that took place just over three months ago (yes, I'm sure you didn't forget!), nothing would make me happier than a gift of meat that could be left in your freezer for us all to enjoy on one of my future trips to Chicago. Specifically, the bone-in ribeyes and dry-aged porterhouse steaks, AVAILABLE AT www.allenbrothers.com, all look good!

Hint, hint...wink, wink!!!

Actually, He Doesn't Know The Difference...

I had to laugh after lugging home and unloading King's weekly haul of grub. On the bag from Qualipet is an advertisement for organic cat food. Under the picture it states that "...cats know the difference".

Can you believe it? ORGANIC FOOD...FOR A CAT???? I'm officially filing this one in the now-I've-seen-almost-everything file.

Seeing that King spent two minutes "grooming" his butt in front of us last night while we were trying to watch TV (very distracting!), I highly doubt that he is the slightest bit worried about whether his food is organic or not.

Our Sunsets Are Safe!

Earlier this year, a small, old apartment building was torn down right by our apartment building. Then, a couple of cranes (the Swiss "national bird") appeared right in line with where the sun sets for a good part of the year.

Seeing that there are a couple of tall apartment buildings sandwiching the construction site, I began to become concerned that another tall building was going to be built, thus blocking the only remaining view of sunsets from our balcony.

This morning, I walked up right next to the construction site for a closer look, and I'm happy to report that the building has been capped and will go no higher.

We will be enjoying many beautiful sunsets from the comfort of our balcony (and rooftop) for the weeks, months, and years (?) to come. Now, I just have to go out an buy a chainsaw...

...SO I CAN CUT DOWN THOSE DAMN TREES!!!!

Pretty In Pink?

The blogosphere will be happy to know that our whirlpool - that we never use because it emits a nasty smell when you turn it on - has been repaired. Correct that: we use the tub, but we never turn on the jets.

Interesting stuff, huh? Read on, unless you have something better (highly likely) to do.

I received a call totally out of the blue last Friday at 5:15 p.m. from some guy speaking Swiss-German. I told him I couldn't really understand him too well, but I managed to pick out the word's Duscholux (the brand name of our whirlpool), the name of the company that owns/manages our apartment building, service, and termin (appointment). Before I knew it, I had an appointment to have our whirlpool repaired (even though I hadn't requested a repair) on Tuesday at 1:00 p.m.

Of course, I ended up having to go through this long, drawn-out ordeal yesterday when I called the management company's office to make sure that they had actually requested the repair and that I wasn't just going to be letting some psycho off the street into the apartment. After waiting several hours for the office to "investigate" I called back and found out that it was, indeed, an authorized repair. It turns out that there have been some problems with the whirlpools in the apartments that have them, and the landlord has decided to have them all looked at whether the tenants have complained or not.

Let's zip ahead to this afternoon at precisely the stroke of 1 p.m. when my door buzzer rang. I heard the word Duscholux over the intercom, and a bunch of other Swiss-German words, so I figured that it had to be the repair dude. Well, it was either him or a Jehovah's Witness who wanted to use our bathtub. I went downstairs, saw a guy in the front lobby wearing a uniform and carrying a toolbox, let him in, and brought him upstairs in the elevator.

About an hour later, I had a new button on the edge of the tub, detailed verbal instructions (that I didn't really understand) explaining how our new button works and what it's supposed to do, and a bunch of dust and repair residue that had to be vacuumed up. The repairman told me that the whirlpool was as good as new and that I should give it a try (I had told him that we never use it).

Now...if only he could do something about the hideous pink tile!

Another Typical Weekend...

...of shopping, cooking, eating, and visiting with friends.

First...

I wanted to buy a dress shirt, so we took the bus into Basel on Saturday morning to do a little shopping. We walked into a store, and we came out of the store a little while later with my dress shirt AND...a winter coat for Mrs. TBF.

How the heck did that happen?

Mrs. TBF tried on the coat a couple of weeks back, but she thought it was too expensive. Just when I was about to pay for my shirt, Mrs. TBF showed up at the counter with the coat and MADE AN OFFER!!! I couldn't beleive it!!! She was actually negotiating on price with a store manager in Switzerland. And you know what? The guy dropped the price! SIGNIFICANTLY!!! Then our friend Di, whom we met at the shop, said the words that sealed the purchase.

"...that coat is TIMELESS!"

With those words (and the "new" price) the deal was sealed. Mrs. TBF had her new coat that she said she'll "...be able to wear until I'm 100 years old". Does that mean that she'll never have to buy another winter coat again? I'm not holding out hope for that.

Then...

Dave and Jane came over for dinner on Saturday evening. It was kind of a birthday dinner for Dave because we never bought him a birthday gift back in September. We just couldn't come up with any good ideas, so we just decided to make him a nice dinner; oyster casserole on toast points for a pre-dinner snack, stuffed eggs and beet ravioli for a starter, mussel soup for the soup course, and cote de boeuf (rib steak) with mushrooms and mashed potatoes on the side for the main course. As if that wasn't heavy enough, we had Ben and Jerry's ice cream for dessert. Oink!

Sunday...

We went up to the Alsace (more specifically, Riquewihr) with John and Rammy. The main reason was to go enjoy lunch at a restaurant that J & R have been to before, but we got there a little early and walked around the insanely crowded Christmas market to kill some time before our reservation.

John and I were enjoying a small sandwich and a beer, ummmm...twenty minutes before eating lunch, when John suddenly said: "Hey...that's your friend from America walking over there! I forgot his name, but...you know...the one who ate at our house earlier this year!" I think I accused John of being drunk on one sip of his tiny beer, but then I realized he was right.

Tom and Sylvia - from Connecticut - were walking not ten yards away from us. Of course, I had to sneak up behind them and give them grief for having come all the way to Europe without calling us. But...I'll give 'em a break this time because Tom was here on business and hardly had any free time. I don't blame him for wanting to spend time just with Sylvia. But...

What are the odds of just running into friends from overseas while walking through a crowded Christmas market in France? It reminds me of the time when we were in Rome, and walked out the front door of our hotel just as people we know from Basel were crossing right in front of us on the sidewalk. Or...the times we've run into people we know at various airports around Europe.

Freaky!!!

So, after saying goodbye to Tom and Sylvia, the four of us ended up having a very nice Menu Hiver for lunch at the restaurant. Afterwards, we shopped a little bit at the market (crazy looking Santa decoration and some smoked meat), stopped for a quick tasting at a winery, and then made our way back to Basel.

And if that wasn't enough eating for one weekend, I even ate a "snack" of leftovers on Sunday evening while watching football. Gain three pounds during the weekend, and lose it during the week.

...the story of my life!

I Want, I Want, I WANT...!

I found out last night that Rammy was going to be making the 45 minute drive to the Carrefour in Mulhouse (France) this morning so that she could buy some turkey giblets for her Christmas gravy, so I invited myself to come along for the ride in order to keep Rammy company, buy a few things myself, and...silently chuckle to myself while watching Rammy driving her little Audi TT with her seat pulled up all the way forward with her little body (all 4'11" of her) pressed against the steering wheel so that her feet can reach the peddles.

Oh...I know what you're saying: Those must be some damn good giblets if somebody is willing to drive 45 minutes in order to get 'em. And my response would be: NO!

The reason why Rammy is driving 45 minutes into France to buy turkey giblets for gravy is because after living here for seven years (Rammy - 14 years), we have yet to find any source for turkey giblets in Switzerland.

Yes, you can buy a whole turkey in Switzerland. However, they don't come with the giblets!

I've even asked for them when I've ordered a turkey at the butcher, and the butcher just tells me "Nein!". "But...I'll pay for them," I plead. "Nein!" I'm not sure what really happens to them all, but I'm kind of thinking that they all end up in France because they sure have a lot of them at Carrefour. Hearts, gizards, livers...whatever you need.

Along with the giblets, the Carrefour in Mulhouse also has a bunch of wild birds flying around the store. Yes, I'm talking about REAL, LIVE BIRDS. When you walk into the store, you hear them chirping. Then, you look up in the rafters and see them sitting there. Occasionally, one will just fly by you as if it's flying from one tree to another. Obviously, the Carrefour employees leave a window open at night or something because there are literally dozens, maybe hundreds, of these wild birds flying around the store.

Ummmmm....isn't this...oh, I don't know...some kind of health code violation? I mean, I saw bird shit on the floor!! Normally, animal crap doesn't bother me. I did, after all, always have to clean up after our dog and I do clean pounds and pounds of it out of King's litter box every week. But I have to say that bird shit by food that I'm going to consume kind of makes me...CRINGE! Am I being overly sensitive about this? Amazingly, Rammy, who's fairly picky about things, doesn't seem to be the slightest bit bothered by the birds.

Whatever...

To tell you the truth, it kind of freaks me out to the point of not wanting to shop there. But...shop there I did, because Rammy needed giblets and I went along as a passenger on the "Giblet Express".

What do we have to do to get some turkey giblets in this country, for god's sake?

And for that matter, Carrefour also has Doritos (we don't!) and Smoky Bacon, Jalapeño, and other assorted flavors of Pringles that we don't have here in Switzerland.

What's up with THAT?

The selection at the Swiss grocery stores has gotten much better in the time that we've lived here, and Rammy tells me that it's light years ahead of where things were when she moved here 14 years ago. However, there are still a lot of things that are available at Carrefour that we can't get here.

I want turkey giblets, Doritos, and Smoky Bacon/Jalapeño Pringles at my local Coop NOW!

...minus the bird shit, of course!

You Didn't Think I'd Forget...

...did you?

Today, Finland celebrates 90 years of independence.

Everybody...

Raise your Lapin Kulta (or any other Finnish beer you happen to have handy) along with me for a toast. Let me hear ya, loud and clear...

LONG LIVE FINLAND!

NOTE: The reason why my head is turned at that weird angle is because I'm hiding a GIGANTIC pimple that erupted on the left side of my neck.

Prediction For 2008...

Of the CDs I purchased in 2007, the three I have listened to the most have been:

Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

Linkin Park - Minutes To Midnight

Rush - Snakes and Arrows

Plus, I still can't get that Um-ba-rella-ella-ella...eh...eh...eh song out of my head.

With the new year fast approaching, I don't think I'm really going out on a limb here if I predict right now that the new Radiohead CD - In Rainbows - will be my our most listened to CD of 2008. Yeah...I know...I could have already downloaded it off of their website...thanks for the info, but I just feel that Radiohead are worthy of an actual CD purchase so I have something to look at while listening to the CD while lying on my bed in my fuzzy slippers.

In Rainbows comes out in January. In the meantime, their new video (Jigsaw Falling Into Place) will have to suffice. Helmet cams ROCK!!!

Fattening Up Fat Sal in Basel...

Fatten up Fat Sal became our mantra after Fat Sal announced to Mrs. TBF upon arriving at our apartment that he was on mission to put a little fat onto his nearly fat-free frame. The challenge was set...

I met Sal at the airport at around 9:30 p.m. on Friday evening, and we took a taxi home. After a leisurely martini, and a Sal-getting-to-know-King session, we all sat down to a late-night cheese fondue dinner. Not any cheese fondue dinner, but a ONE KILO (2.2 lbs.) of cheese fondue dinner. Unbelievably, "we" (mostly me) ate...it...all!!!! We continued talking and drinking wine into the night; finally making it to bed around 2:30 a.m.

On Saturday morning, we went into town to meet up with Canadian-Swiss and Orange-X. We took the bus, and Sal experienced Swiss precision first-hand when we had to switch buses at one point during the journey. Our bus stopped, we stepped out as the next bus was pulling behind the first bus, and we hopped on. Yes, Sal was amazed! We jumped off the second bus at Spalentor and wandered down the the streets of Basel toward Marktplatz. Of course, we first needed a little "fattening-up" snack (about 45 minutes before eating lunch), so we stopped for a sausage at the Eiche sausage stand.

After our snack, the three of us made our way down the "clean and safe" streets of Basel to Zum Braunen Mutz to meet up with C.S. and O.X., and to stuff Sal with a few hundred calories worth of rösti. After lunch, Mrs. TBF went back home to begin preparing Sal's next caloric intake, and the four remaining bloggers set off on a small walking tour of Basel.

We set off through Marktplatz, up the hill toward the Munster, and then took the ferry across the Rhein (pretty much the reverse of my standard walking tour). It was at this point that I felt that Sal was burning too many calories, so the four of us stopped in at Fischerstube for a beer. Well, at least Sal and I had beer. Of course, C.S. and O.X. had to be troublemakers by ordering a panaché and rum & Coke respectively. Who drinks panaché and rum & Coke at a microbrewery for god's sake? Jeez!

It was getting dark by this point, and it was time to head back to the apartment. By the time we arrived, Mrs. TBF was in the midst of a cooking frenzy, and Sal was feeling a bit tired from lack of sleep and extra calorie consumption. Sal relaxed for a bit, I did a quick vacuuming and recycled before the 8:00 p.m. curfew (Sal: "WHAT?!?!? 8:00 p.m. curfew?!?!??!?"), and then the guests began showing up.

C.S., O.X., Andy, Di, Rammy, John, and kids arrived around 7:00 p.m., and we all sat down to a nice Italian dinner that Mrs. TBF had prepared. We ate and drank, once again, until the early-morning hours; finally going to sleep sometime between 2:30 and 3:00 a.m.

The next morning, we got up around 11:00 a.m. Well, at least Mrs. TBF and I did. Sal got up at something like 7:00 a.m. (probably woken up by King's howling), and didn't go back to sleep. At around noon, Mrs. TBF made one last-ditch effort of pumping calories into Sal with omelettes and bacon.

So, let's see now...

Sal ate snacks, cheese fondue, sausage, rösti, Italian food, an omelette and bacon, drank wine, beer, and a martini. And...when he left? I think he had maybe...MAYBE...gained about one ounce!!!!

What will it take to fatten up Fat Sal?

We said our goodbyes to Fat "Euro" Sal on Sunday afternoon as he got onto the airport bus at the train station. The next time we see him, he'll be Fat "American" Sal. Let's see what happens when he returns to Chicago. I'm sure we'll be checking up on him there in the not-too-distant future for a B.M.I. check.

Winter Advice...

With all this blustery weather we've been having here in Basel for the past twenty-four hours, it appears that winter is upon us. I guess there's no better time than the present for a little winter tobogganing advice from Geddy Lee of Rush.